Since my last post, I have taken a break from the world of improving my fertility. Two days before christmas I received news that my FSH was the worst it had been since going off the pill.....an 89! My husand and I stumbled through the holidays like it was a bad dream. I decided that eating and shopping my way through the holidays would be a good idea which lead my husband to put me on the dreaded 'b" word....a budget. After the last blood test results, the obgyn who had believed my condition was temporary aligned with all of the other three doctors and stated she believe my body was really going into menopause. She explained that sometimes the body doesnt go directly into menopause, it has some cycles at the beginning and that is why I was able to have two periods after going off the pill. I am still not buying it, why would I have so much cervical mucus if I was going into menopause. I choose to believe my endocrinologist. She said that sometimes there is a lack of communication between the pituitary gland (part of the brain that controls the reproductive system) and the ovaries and that can be stimulated. She also had me tested for ovarian antibodies which I tested positive for. This means that my immune system has created anti-bodies that are now attacking my ovaries. I picture little pacman moving around my body...kind of scary to think about. I am currently waiting to see a reproductive endocrinologist who is one of the best in her field and known for helping people with POF. I feel like everyday I have to wait to see her, the more of my ovaries the pacman are going to eat!!! I was watching Maury today after work and they had a bunch of women on there who didnt know who the father of their children were. It blew my mind that they could all get pregnant on accident and be putting their children in that bad situation of not knowing which out of the 9 guys they slept with were their father. Made me wonder why God would bless those women with children and not me. I felt bad for the beautiful babies that were sitting there watching their moms wave fingers in the fathers face. Maybe that could be a new reality show, watching kids grow up that were taken on talk shows for paternity tests. I am willing to bet that one or more of the kids on jersey shore were on them.