My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Friday, January 29, 2010

January 29th...and still no news from the new doctor

Since my last post, I have taken a break from the world of improving my fertility. Two days before christmas I received news that my FSH was the worst it had been since going off the 89!  My husand and I stumbled through the holidays like it was a bad dream. I decided that eating and shopping my way through the holidays would be a good idea which lead my husband to put me on the dreaded 'b" word....a budget.  After the last blood test results, the obgyn who had believed my condition was temporary aligned with all of the other three doctors and stated she believe my body was really going into menopause. She explained that sometimes the body doesnt go directly into menopause, it has some cycles at the beginning and that is why I was able to have two periods after going off the pill. I am still not buying it, why would I have so much cervical mucus if I was going into menopause. I choose to believe my endocrinologist. She said that sometimes there is a lack of communication between the pituitary gland (part of the brain that controls the reproductive system) and the ovaries and that can be stimulated. She also had me tested for ovarian antibodies which I tested positive for. This means that my immune system has created anti-bodies that are now attacking my ovaries. I picture little pacman moving around my body...kind of scary to think about. I am currently waiting to see a reproductive endocrinologist who is one of the best in her field and known for helping people with POF. I feel like everyday I have to wait to see her, the more of my ovaries the pacman are going to eat!!!  I was watching Maury today after work and they had a bunch of women on there who didnt know who the father of their children were. It blew my mind that they could all get pregnant on accident and be putting their children in that bad situation of not knowing which out of the 9 guys they slept with were their father.  Made me wonder why God would bless those women with children and not me.  I felt bad for the beautiful babies that were sitting there watching their moms wave fingers in the fathers face. Maybe that could be a new reality show, watching kids grow up that were taken on talk shows for paternity tests. I am willing to bet that one or more of the kids on jersey shore were on them.

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.