Slideshow

My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.




Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Monday, May 3, 2010

A rebutle to a mean comment ....."why I outta"

 A late night shout out to "Andrew" who posted something rude about my blog today. In the introduction to my blog I warn you that I may be oversharing. The material in my blog is regarding my medical condition so I  invite people to read ahead and travel with me on my infertility journey. I don't force my blog on anyone and dont pretend that some of the information might be TMI for some but the information I might leave out could possibly help someone. This blog is meant to be a form of therapy for me as I try and help others that may be going through the same thing and is not suppossed to be something negative. Andrew, you may not want to hear about my ...what did you call it "kooter juice" but there are some women out there with the same diagnosis as me wondering if their "juice" activity is normal. I have also received a lot of questions about the colon cleanse that you made a mean comment about. You blog about whatever it is you want to and I will do the same. No more verbal attacks, did it make you feel better about yourself when you sent me that message? Just because you have a complex doesnt mean you have to take it out on me. If the information in my blog is so repulsive, why did you read it?  You are making me feel bad for trying to help people so if you dont like it please dont read it and if you cant write anything nice, please dont write at all.  And to answer your question, yes I am obsessed. Obsessed with healing my body and restoring all natural functions and obsessed with the posibility of becoming a mother.

Placenta pie anyone?

The weekend was actually fun. It was nice to see all of my friends and get out of the house. I was so busy this weekend I didn’t have much time to think about things so I might try to keep that going. At dinner on Saturday night, I got to see about 12 women I went to college with. Our dinner conversation topics have definitely changed and most of us look very different but the dynamic of the group hasn’t changed. I haven’t laughed that much in a long time. Conversation topics of the cute fraternity boys and next parties have changed to things people do with their placenta after child birth and what happens when you push during labor. We were all laughing as the women who are expecting shared their fears and those that had given birth helped to make them feel better with their funny labor stories. The dinner topics did get me curious so I decided to do some research on the whole placenta thing. One of my very good friends is scheduled to give birth in a hospital in Boulder, CO next month so her and her husband went on a tour of the facility and went through her birthing plan. During the plan, she was asked what she would like to do with her placenta. Confused and not expecting the question she asked “what should I be doing with it?” The nurse then explained the mothers are welcome to take the placenta home and that some even ate their own placentas. My friend, was horrified and simply replied “we will not be needing a placenta service, thank you.” Her story is also the first time I have heard of people not only keeping their placentas but also ingesting them. In my mind I was picturing a woman checking out of the hospital and being handed her placenta wrapped like they wrap meat at the deli….so weird to me. Anyway here is what I found on the subject…… In the USA, most people don’t ever see their placentas (in fact some states have regulations that don’t allow patients to take their placentas out of the hospital). Most of the time they are either thrown away or sold to cosmetic companies (it’s true the embryonic tissue can be pulled from any pregnant mammal and used as a wrinkle reducer in skin creams…check this time article out http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1000192,00.html. Makes you want to rub your miracle cream all over doesn’t it?...Not!! A few other things Americans (that are allowed to take theirs home) are currently doing with their placentas. Some women plant their placenta in their yard and then plant a tree over it. Then every time the plant blooms, they are reminded of the birth or their child (doesn’t seem that bad to me, actually kind of like the idea). Other women make placenta prints. Before their birth they select a few pieces of art paper. After birth, they drop the placenta straight on the paper and have the blood mark the paper or some wipe the placenta off, dip it in ink and then drop it on paper (nothing like arts and crafts time after pushing out a watermelon from your hoha). Last but not least, some American women make medicine like capsules of their placenta and take them in order to ward off post partum depression and retain vitamins/minerals that may be lost during the birth process. I also found a crazy article on an artist who will take women’s placentas and sew them into teddy bears (I am not even going to comment on this one but here is the article http://www.bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/Things-To-Do-With-Your-Placenta.html). What is interesting is what other cultures do with their placentas. I found this website ( http://www.pregnancy.org/question/what-can-we-do-placenta) that discusses what some other cultures believe about the placenta and what rituals they have on the subject. It seems that other cultures believe the placenta is considered to have a permanent and almost magical bond with the child it nourished in the womb, and disposal is handled as more of a ritual then just throwing in the trash…leave it to Americans to heave part of every citizens spiritual being into the trash right after birth. Welcome to America we are going to take away part of your soul but don’t worry you will never miss it. If you are lucky, a star might rub part of you all over their face!!! Back on topic… In Peru the father of the newborn child is required to bury the placenta in a safe place and deep enough so that no animals or people will accidentally discover it. Otherwise, if the placenta is disturbed the belief is that it might become "jealous" of the attention paid to the baby and may take revenge by causing an epidemic (I am picturing a cartoon placenta with arms and legs running towards a village) Some South American Indian cultures believe that a child's life can be influenced by objects that are buried with its placenta. Boys' placentas are frequently buried with a shovel or a pick, and girls' are buried with a loom or a hoe (I would want mine buried with diamonds, a symbol of good fertility and a symbol of good fortune…not sure what the diamonds what be for except that they are always a girls best friend so it couldn’t hurt right?). In the Philippines some bury the placenta with books as a way of ensuring intelligence. In ancient Egypt, pharaohs' placentas were wrapped in special containers to keep them from harm (I am wondering if they were kept on a shelf in each indivuals home? Was it something that went with them when they moved out and went out on their own? Was it something people compared? Mine is dark red but look how big yours is!). Traditional Vietnamese medicine uses placentas to combat sterility (if they think this, maybe it is true?). In India, touching a placenta is supposed to help a childless woman conceive a healthy baby of her own (yes I am thinking about where I might be able to find a placenta to touch… I know can you say DESPERATE. Maybe I could just wait outside someone’s room who is giving birth and ask to touch her placent…would that be to creepy? ..um yes). In China, some believe that breastfeeding mothers can improve the quality of their milk by drinking a broth made of boiled placenta. To top of the placenta discussion here are ten things you should know human placenta use in cosmetics courtesy of http://www.urbanhillbillyorganics.com/.


1. Hospitals do sell unclaimed placenta to pharmaceutical and cosmetics companies.

2. Eventhough many companies have reported their use of placenta in cosmetics, most are afraid to advertise this because customers are "squeamish" about the idea.

3. Collagen, a common ingredient in many popular lotions and creams, is often extracted from placenta.

4. For some groups, the use of products containing placenta - according to recent study - may be linked to premature sexual development.

5. Hormones extracted from placenta can be very effective in reducing the appearance of wrinkles.

6. In Hong Kong it is admitted as a new trend that human placenta ingredients, as well as others from aborted fetuses, are used in beauty supplements.

7. Placental cosmetics, first used as injections in the 1930's that cost up to $10,000 per treatment, were pioneered by Dr. Paul Niehans as a luxury reserved for the rich & famous.

Your welcome, hope you are able to use your face lotion tonight. Isn’t it funny how you have never considered what is in your miracle cream until now??? And now an update… I had more clear CM over the weekend and noticed some cramping on the lower left side of my abdomen yesterday. I also noticed that I am not hungry as often as I used to be. Could it be because my colon is able to absorb more nutrients since the last cleanse?? Mrs. W told me that happened to her so I am thinking that is exactly what is going on. Yeah! I am not going to eat as much anymore, bikini season is almost underway so hopefully this continues. The baby shower was fun and I was able to spend the afternoon with my two very best friends and then work on the plans for a baby shower I am co-hosting in a few weeks. I was able to go home and enjoy the evening with my hubby with no ill feelings (after a ranting session with my mom..sorry mom someone has to hear it). I wanted to get rid of the “feeling sorry for myself mood” before I got home and I did (Man do I owe my mom a good present for Mother’s Day, she is always there for me). When I got home from the baby shower festivities, my husband was watching a movie and looked at my face to see if there had been a “disaster” while I was out. He seemed surprised when I walked up, gave him a kiss and went upstairs to change. Encouraged that I didn’t have a drama for him to talk me through, he met me in the kitchen and helped me make fertility friendly fish tacos and then we watched Police Academy while we dined. It was a very nice night and I am happy he is trying to eat my fertility food concoction. I of course didn’t drizzle flaxseed oil over his tacos but he doesn’t need estrogen, I do. Well hi ho hi ho it’s off to work I go. Happy Monday!

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.