My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Economically Organic

Today on Economically Organic:
Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

You're going down FSH!

Kickboxing yesterday was very therapeutic. The instructor had a different method to his madness which allowed me to concentrate on what I was pretending to hit every time I struck the punching bag. Every time I punched the bag, I screamed inside my head one of the following “Heal”, “Ovulate” and “Have a baby”! At the end of the class we had five minutes where we could do anything we wanted. I chose to do a punch-kick combo. During this five minutes I trash talked my high FSH level and told it that it better get down to 10 or below or I will take the fertility drugs to make it go down. “You can either do it yourself or be forced, the choice is yours. If you are still high the next time you are tested, then you will be forced to go down, and I mean it.” I ended our confrontation with a sweet right hook followed by a switch kick. As I walked out of the class I felt incredible, I also exited quickly for fear that the woman who worked out behind me was going to tell the whole class I was farting the whole time. What? Don’t judge me…it is bound to happen when you are full of hot air and bouncing up and down….sorry about it. I felt more comfortable letting her rip in class because the music was really loud….and I am really feeling unattractive after typing that. For you men reading this, sorry to burst your bubble but women fart and go number 2! Today is the day of my cleanse. I am a little anxious because I don’t know what to expect. I mean, I know there is going to be water pumping through my intestines but I have questions about what acupressure points will be administered during the cleanse. Or what in the heck the therapist and I will discuss as she is pumping out the 7 pounds of waste I have stored in my body? Imagine the conversation topics that we could have. I could ask her how she got into removing waste form people’s colons. Or what she does with it after it is removed? I intend to get as much information on the whole process and its benefits so that I can share them but I imagine this experience might be a little awkward. Just like getting your annual check up only you are laying on your stomach instead of your back. I will try to capture as much of the experience as possible without humiliating myself. I am sad to report that the gas is still with me. My mom thinks that my body is trying to cleanse itself but that all of the built up waste is blocking the way. She thinks that after this cleanse today my gas will be gone and all systems will be go for launch. I hope she is right because it is only a matter of time before I accidentally let one go in a meeting or during a phone conversation at work….and I would be mortified. It’s somehow different when you are pregnant. It seems more socially acceptable for a pregnant woman to fart but if you are not pregnant and are under the age of 85, farting in public is against the norm and you will be judged…and I don’t want to be the smelly girl. I talked to my body on the way to work and reminded it of our new June 15th deadline. I told it to take the morning juice (which was yummy) and use it’s nutrients to heal the damage. I know we will make the deadline! After doing some research, I have decided to not drink soy milk. There is a lot of research showing that soy milk can affect hormone levels in women, especially estrogen….as we all know I don’t need anything else messing up my hormone levels. I will be using coconut milk in my breakfast smoothies instead. A friend at work has been vegan for years and he swears by coconut milk. Well I must get to work, wish me luck this afternoon….I wonder if I will look skinnier? After all I am about to get 7 pounds pumped out of me :0)

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.