Monday, April 5, 2010
Today is my first day back in reality after my five day vacation. My husband and I had so much fun and were sad to leave but ready to see our fur babies…and I was ready to get back and get my diet back in order. For the most part, I stuck to my fertility diet with the exception of consuming some alcohol but I did make sure to keep out the Gluten and Diary. I felt a bit queasy a few of the days in the morning and a bit in the afternoon but it could have been a nervous tummy. Our trip started out by me jamming to the Charlie Daniels Band with the cabi on our way to hotel/casino. Along with the car karaoke, the driver also provided us with some fun facts on country music (how it originated and has evolved). This was a bit random but why not start out my trip singing the Devil Went Down to George as we pulled up to the casino? On the plane ride to Vegas, I re-read “Inconceivable” so that I could be sure I was doing everything possible to get my body working correctly again. The author of the book was told her FSH was too high and she couldn’t conceive with her own eggs. She explains in the how she works to heal her body & mind and is able to conceive a healthy baby girl. After re-reading this book I feel inspired all over again. Starting today I will be starting an even stricter fertility diet, getting a juicer and juice some fruits and vegetables, continue acupuncture, increase my visualization exercises and the last one is a bit groose but it is mentioned in the book….getting an enema. All of these items are mentioned in the book so I am going for it. I am also going to cancel the appointment in May with the fertility specialist. I don’t feel like I am ready to go back and the book also suggests listening to your body over the doctors because in the end our bodies know what is best for us.. With this new inspiration, I also feel like I have luck on my side for the first time in a long time. A trip to Vegas is expected to bring you back with less money then you left with right? …but my husband and I did very well at the tables this time. We couldn’t loose! We gambled for the first three days and by Saturday afternoon, we were ahead by over $1,500. My husband surprised me with a really nice purse and a designer dress and we went out on the town! That night, I woke up around 3:00 AM just in time to feel a sharp cramp in my lower abdomen. I am hoping that it was either me ovulating (an eggs maturing) or a baby attaching to my uterus we will have to see. When I woke up on Sunday morning, I wondered what had happened the night before when I felt the sharp pain and noticed that I still had some cramping. Wanting some insight, I decided to go and find the Zoltar machine (yes, the one from the big movie….his wish came true didn’t it?) I had seen in one of the shops to make my wish, get my fortune and my lucky numbers. My husband thought it sounded kind of fun, so we got dressed, grabbed breakfast and were at the machine by 10:00 AM. I felt nervous as I inserted my dollar and waited for Zoltar to come alive. Zoltar waived his hand over his crystal ball and told me that whatever it is I am wanting will happen if I just believe and that I need to just live a fancy free life and what will be, will be. Then Zoltar gave me a card with my fortune that stated that “a love with soon enter and add pleasure to my life and that I will find it difficult to know when this love begins. This love will be eternal – the aspect may change but not the essence. There is the same difference in you before and after this love as there is in an unlighted lamp. The lamp was there and was a good lamp but now it is shedding light too and that is its real function. As the greatest pleasure of life is love. Remember when this love comes or if it has already arrived the heart is wiser than the intellect.” I instantly thought of my faith when I read this…and when I read the parts about “the unlighted lamp & if it has already arrived”…I immediately thought about that possibility of me being pregnant. I know that most people believe that the Zoltar & any other fortune telling machine spits out the same five fortunes to customers daily but what happened next confirmed that this fortune was meant for me. On the bottom of the fortune card were six lucky numbers. After feeling like the fortune had hit a little to close to home, my husband and I decided to take the numbers and play them on the roulette table. The odds are not very likely to hit on the exact number you put money on but we figured these were supposed to be my lucky numbers and we seemed to not be able to loose…so what the heck. Well, we beat the odds and hit one of the numbers the very first roll and won $365.00! Zoltar thinks I can beat the odds! With Zoltar behind me there is no stopping me. If I am not already pregnant, I will be doing everything I can to get myself healthy and get things rolling again. It hit me while sitting in the plane on the way to Vegas…maybe I don’t have POF at all. Maybe this is my body’s way of telling me to take better care of myself. To stop eating gluten, drinking soda and to much alcohol and learn to relax and believe in myself more. I am more positive then ever and know that now it isn’t a question of “if I can get pregnant” it is “when will I get pregnant”.