My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

One in One Thousand...Yeah Right

Oh my, I have had an interesting morning. Thought I would vent a bit…hope you don’t mind. I have decided the it should not be socially acceptable to blow your nose or hack up fluid while you are on a treadmill in a public gym. While struggling to hit two miles on the treadmill this morning, I was forced to end my work out early when the woman next to me started hacking up fluid from her chest and blowing her nose. She followed the nose blow with an uncovered sneeze and that was enough for me. I pressed stop on the treadmill and quickly walked away covered no doubt in her germs…and I didn’t even get to cool down! In my opinion, doing anything with snot while working out next to complete strangers should be considered against social norm…just like blowing your nose at the table. If there is a possibility you could be sharing your snot or that moment with anyone but yourself….go somewhere else!!! Not that I am not understanding, I myself have been really sick the last two weeks. When I need to blow my nose, I make it a point to step out of a meeting or go to the bathroom. I dont make someone else participate in that if someone happens to walk into my office while I am blowing my nose then that is their fault because I was trying to do it in I still writing about this??   After the mucus packed workout, I was running late for work..yes again. I had to park on the 7th level of the parking garagage. Usually I park on 1 or 3 so you can imagine how annoyed I was when I got in the elevator at 7 carrying a huge box of binders and cringed as the elevator stopped on all but one of the floors on the way down. Decades later, when the elevator finally got to 1, I had 10 minutes to walk three blocks, ride up 17 floors to my office and be in my 7:30 meeting...did I mention I am wearing high heels today? I don’t have to tell you I didn’t make it, I think it is pretty obvious. Somehow I am still in a great mood today. The sun is shining, the week is almost over and I have some fun plans this weekend. I am managing to push the non-stop cramps I still have into the back of my head. Still hoping and praying that they will one day lead to a period :0) A woman can dream cant she? After doing some googling this morning, I have come to the conclusion that I have post pill Amenorrhea. Post-pill Amenorrhea is described as the lack of menstrual periods for at least 6 months after stopping birth control pills. In a normal menstrual cycle (without birth control), the pituitary gland produces hormones like Follicle Stimulating hormone (FSH) and Leutinizing Hormone(LH) to stimulate the follicles in the ovary to develop. The enlarging follicles produce estrogen as they grow and develop.. Progesterone is then produced after the follicle ruptures (called 'ovulation')at around the 14th day of the cycle. Birth control pills contain the hormones, estrogen and progesterone. When women take these pills, the levels of the above mentioned hormones in their blood increases. This increase in hormone levels then sends a negative feedback to the pituitary gland indicating that there is sufficient estrogen and progesterone in the body. As a result the pituitary gland stops producing FSH and LH. I think this is what is going on with me. Mix in my Celiacs producing ovarian antibodies and you have a recipe sure to stop making my endocrine system for working properly. The only thing that keeps me from being 100% positive on this is that a low level of FSH is usually present with post-pill amenorrea and as you have read before…I have a high FSH. But who is to say my body isn’t reacting differently. If you do some online research on going off of birth control, you will read over and over again that birth control affects every woman’s body differently. How can doctors make a statement like that and then make a diagnosis one month after I got off the pill that I will never have a period again and I am going into menopause at age 28? In the United States, 1% of women are diagnosed with POF/POI (I prefer POI, insufficiency is a much better word then failure don’t you think?) So I am to believe that I am that 1%. The 1 in every 1,000 women that have ovarian insufficiency? Call me na├»ve or stupid but I am still not convinced that my cycle isn’t going to come back to me. Statistics alone make me feel that something else entirely could be going on with me internally. I have a better change of winning the Colorado state lottery (ok maybe a bit of an exaggeration but the chances of 1 in 1,000, really?) Maybe I should sing that Celine Dion song “it’s all coming back all coming back to me now” over and over again while I am in my car? Maybe then my body will get the hint that the vacation from producing hormones is now over and it’s time to get back to work?? Check out the information I found on POF/POI this morning I really hope the reproductive endocrinologist is ready to see patients soon. I am excited to meet with her and see if she will be willing to try therapy to restore ovarian function. If not, I am excited to get that visit over with and move on to my appointment with the fertility specialist the first week in May, Then I can finally move one step closer to becoming a mom. I am just ready to move on from this chapter of my life, go on hormone therapy if I must and enjoy my family (which I hope will include more then my husband and my two adorable Chihuahuas very soon). Before I end this blog, I wanted to share some information with those of you lovely ladies that are currently living in the Denver area. I have been going to Avanti Skin Center of Denver for almost two years now to get my facials and peels and I also purchase my skin products there. I received an email yesterday that they are starting a new skin wellness program for $99 a month. I know this seems like a lot of money but one facial or peel can be $125.00. The monthly program includes: One facial or peel per month and one hand microdermabrasian or eye brow wax, 10% off all image medical grade products and 20% off any laser package. Minimum fours months when you sign up but I am going to see if they can take payment out each month and not pay all at once. Check them out, I really enjoy the services I receive when I go there. They are located right by the Cherry Creek mall…and no they are not paying me to share this with you, I just think it’s a rocking deal and wanted to share. I know $99 seems like a lot but Eva Longoria (who looks amazing) was quoted in an interview that she hasnt had any work done, she just has a facial or peel done one a month....that is enough convincing for me but here is one more for you if you need it. A new pair of shoes or new outfit can last you one maybe two seasons tops...but your skin is forever.  Now go treat can always go to DSW or TJ Max and find a great deal on a new pair of shoes so you can get the best of both worlds!  Happy Thursday and remember you are the exception!

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.