I am sad to report that I didn’t get to catch up on my sleep last night. I did try my best. My husband and I went upstairs and laid in bed around 8:00 PM and I started to doze off immediately. He kept waking me up because he couldn’t go to sleep, who does that? Especially to someone who has trouble sleeping? He finally went to sleep and allowed me to doze off only to me awaken by one of my Chihuahuas licking my face at 12:30 AM. When I woke up, I realized that I was really hot again which upset me and I never went back to sleep. My mind started racing. What if this new doctor cant help me? Will I be successful with IVF & donor eggs? Etc. Etc. It is now 6:57 AM and I am exhausted with the puffy eyes to prove it. Maybe that is why I am so pissy today. While riding the mall shuttle from the parking lot to my building, I sat in-between a couple who were with there little girl. I don’t have kids (not my choice) so I am going to guestimate that she was about 4 or 5. I know it was about 5:30 AM but I am pretty sure that I saw that both parents were wearing sweatshirts with marijuana leaves all over them in gold or silver. Now I don’t want to judge what people should and shouldn’t wear but isn’t that wrong to wear things like that around your children? I mean once your kids are a certain age shouldn’t you try and filter what they see and hear as much as you can? I mean those people might as well buy the little girl one to wear! I am probably just over reacting due to lack of sleep, constant cramping from my progesterone supplements and no period for three months…but in my opinion you really shouldn’t wear shirts, pants, jackets or even earrings with bad messages on them around your kids.
I will get off my soapbox now. I am also unhappy to report that I heard from my current OBGYN’s office yesterday. I had called to get some prescription refills while I wait to get into the reproductive endocrinologist. When I called a few days ago, I put a few questions in to the doctor, one being if I actually have hypothyroidism or had the doctor just put me on thyroid medication due to some low readings trying to stimulate my system. Translation…do I need to be taking this medication the rest of my life? Or was this for the treatments you were trying. Are you ready for the frustrating part of this story? After almost 11 months of testing…my answer was “we don’t know”. I was hoping to be able to tell the reproductive endocrinologist whether I did or did not have hypothyroidism but here I am 11 months after originally being diagnosed with POF and I still don’t have any answers except that I have ovarian antibodies and that I tested positive for some but not all signs of Lupus and I might have hypothyroidism. So I am paying $70.00 every three months for a medication that I may not have to take. I pray that one of the appointments in March leads me closer to some answers. I just have this feeling that my body is trying to have a period but something isn’t working, I just need someone to find out what that “something” is…maybe it’s my brain?
12 years ago
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