My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Top of the morning and Softcups!

The snow day was so nice. Even though I worked from home, there is just something about being able to stay in your comfy sweats and have your dogs on your lap while you work on spreadsheets or make phone calls. I tried to relax as much as humanly possible yesterday. It is not easy for me to relax, I am wound up pretty tight and that is how I work best….unfortunately that is not good for my body…especially in the fertility department. I worked out on my elliptical while watching CSI and then completed a 45 minute fertility yoga session to try and jump start ovulation. I love the yoga DVD I use because a few minutes after I finish each session, I get cramps so I can actually feel my body benefiting from practicing yoga which is really rewarding. CM was clear but not very abundant yesterday which is a bit frustrating after having a good amount on Tuesday. My temperature this morning was 97.6 and I woke up with cramps and a headache…I’m not complaining…just trying to give you the facts! I remember reading that both headaches and PMS symptoms, like cramps, can be symptoms of pregnancy but I don’t know if that could be possible yet. I have had cervical mucus though..hmm? Either way, I welcome cramps any day because they make me feel “normal”…whatever that means? Being home yesterday allowed me to do some research on how to increase my chances of conceiving and I found a few things I am going to try out that I thought were worth sharing so here it goes….. According to an article I read on, 1. Having sex in the morning can increase a couples’ chance of conceiving. This is because a man’s sperm count is the highest in the morning and the morning is also the time of day that most men have the highest sexual interest…so I guess I will be calling in late a little more often in the next couple of months?? 2. Evening Primrose Oil is an oil (no kidding?) produced from a wildflower and has been used for many years for things like natural labor induction and fertility. This oil is said to improve the quality of CM (cervical mucus) which is essential to allowing semen to swim to the fertilized egg. 3. and this one is such a good idea….The article suggests inserting an Instead Softcup into the vagina (yes I just typed vagina) after intercourse, will help keep semen close to the cervix longer. This will allow more sperm to reach the fertilized egg and increase your chances for conceiving. Until recently, Softcups were only used during periods but women in the United States have found a new use for them…and it works. Instead, the maker of the cups has had an overload of emails from women telling their success stories. Something else suggested in an advertisement I found for the Softcups is “directly depositing” semen into one of the cups and then inserting the cup into the vagina. This to me sounds more like a science experiment and would most likely take the fun out of baby making for my husband and I. I mean if you have to worry where the cup is the whole you are “doing it”, then hold the cup in the perfect position to catch the little guys and then insert it up into your cervix while trying not to spill…yep it’s official that would be a definite mood killer. Am I saying we wont try it if we still aren’t pregnant in a few months? No! We will be more desperate by then. . Anyway, it looks like most drug stores have Instead Softcups…who knew there was even such a thing? Here is a link to the article on boosting your fertility, I am going to try the few things I have just mentioned, who knows maybe they will help? Well I going to get to work now. Just wanted to mention that while I was writing about the Softcups above, I had a sharp pain in my lower abdominal area and at the same time had a pain in my right breast. Kind of weird huh? Wonder what the heck my body is doing in there?? I hope it is something good :0)

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.