My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Economically Organic

Today on Economically Organic:
Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Gas, Gas...go away!

After speaking with a good friend of mine, I am positive that my digestive issues are a side effect of my diet change. She said that when she first went vegan, all she did was go and that it is just my body eliminating all of the toxins and that if I kept going on like this all week…I might not need to get a cleanse on Thursday. Great, I have 28 years of toxins to get rid of….should I get a padded seat for my toilet? Throughout most of the work day, I had constant air flowing thru me. As soon as I would release it, I could feel myself filling back up. I felt like that one girl on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory….I think her name was Bianca?? Remember how she chews that gum and blows up like a blueberry? I felt like a giant blueberry yesterday. I couldn’t wait until I was in my car safe and sound not having to worry about releasing my air to loudly. Somehow, I managed to not embarrass myself at work. Traffic was horrible on my way home work yesterday so I decided to have a conversation with myself or let’s just call it a pep talk. It went a little something like this. “Sorry for stressing you out this afternoon after we learned the sex of our friend’s baby. I don’t know why I got upset since I know that we will soon be carrying a baby, I just get frustrated sometimes. I wanted to ask you how long it is going to take you to heal? I know that we have more then just unwanted pesticides to flush out but I just don’t know how much longer I can stand not being pregnant. I am so sorry for taking advantage of you and all of the natural processes you go through everyday. I am also sorry for just expecting things to work, putting in crap and expecting you to put out excellence. I promise to never revert back to my evil ways and will continue to take care of us like this for the rest of our lives. In return, I want to ask a favor, could you allow us to get pregnant by June 15, 2010? I know this isn’t much time but ovaries, you have been off birth control for a year now. Now I know I fed you birth control for over 10 years but I was wondering if you could forgive me and start functioning again? Now more then ever, I feel like we are so close to being pregnant and that is why I have come up with this deadline. Please remember that I love each every part of us and am sorry for any hurt I have ever caused you. I beg you, please step it up. We can do this!” I actually spoke out loud to myself for about half the car ride home. I felt a lot better when I was done and then I blasted Dean Martin the rest of the way. When I got home, I started making dinner and felt a ton of moisture “down there”. I ran to the bathroom and was ecstatic to see thin, clear, CM and tons of it. It wasn’t thick and stretchy but clear is good enough for me!!! I looked in the mirror and said “Thank you for listening during our talk today, I love you!” (Yes, I am now one of those crazy people who talk to themselves, got a problem with that?) My friend, Stephanie, who recently conceived a baby after being given a 0% chance of getting pregnant naturally told me to keep my hips elevated for 10 minutes after baby making so…just to be safe, last night I propped my hips up on a pillow and went to sleep. The good old hips were propped for 7 hours. That should increase my chances!!! Swim little swimmer swim! When I got up this morning, I checked for any lingering stomach issues and immediately felt like there was something crawling inside my stomach. I had a pain that was literally moving up and down my intestines. Halfway through juicing the pain went away and I am sitting here pain and air free….at least for the moment. Having been overwhelmed with gas the last couple of days, I thought I would do a little research on the subject and find out where it comes from. According to, “Gas is made primarily of odorless vapors—carbon dioxide, oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen, and sometimes methane. The unpleasant odor of flatulence, the gas that passes through the rectum, comes from bacteria in the large intestine that release small amounts of gases containing sulfur.” Well that makes sense, the same site also listed foods that are known to cause gas. Fruit is one of them! Am I doomed to a life of intense gas now that I am on this new diet? Will no one want to be around me for fear that I might blast them into the next room? I really hope that once my body is comfortable with our new eating rituals that the “air” will go away! Gas, gas go away please don’t last another day! Tomorrow is the day….the cleanse!

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.