My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

..And another one bites the dust!

Good Morning and happy Tuesday to all!  I am sad to report that the doctor recommended to me by a friend (doctor number 5) is in agreeance with all of the other doctors I have seen. I have POF and IVF with donor eggs is going to be my only option.  Surprisingly enough, I didnt even get upset after he told me that.  He did say that there is a small percentage of women whose cycles just start again out of nowhere, but it is a very small percentage and I may not want to wait around for the next 5 years to see if that happens. He compared my ovaries to a sputtering car.  It starts when you turn the key and will get me to work but will it get me to Kansas (from Colorado)? probably not.  I asked the doctor if it looks like I have any ovarian activity and he said that my estrogen levels are not consistent with my fsh levels and that the fact that I have cervical mucus and have had periods shows that someting is going on.  He suggested I go to the reproductive endocrinologist to see if there are any therarpies they can do but he thinks IVF with donor eggs will be my only option.  I have accepted that but I am not giving up hope yet.  Once the reproductive endocrinologist says no then I will have excercised all my options and will make an appiontment to go back to the fertility specialist to start the IVF process.  How I wish I could have monthly periods again!  Seriously the feeling of having to change a tampon because I have such a heavy flow would be so great right now. I welcome it, please please come back! I took you for granted!  I called the reproductive endocrinologist's office and they anticipate scheduling to start mid-march to the end of March so I will have my answer soon. I just dont get how my cycle could be perfectly normal 10 years ago when I went on the pill and now it is non-existent with no family history of this sort of thing.  I am telling you people....this is because of my celiacs and because I was on the pill for so long. If you think about it, the combination doesnt sound auto-immune diseanse and putting fake hormones in my body for 10 years.  Why am I the only one who is thinking this though?  Please period gods, bring back my aunt flow. she can even stay longer then her usual week visits the second time around.  Enough of my babbling, while waiting to meet with doctor number 5, I read Conceive magazine and decided to join the site and read some news articles.  There is some pretty intersting stuff on there today.  There is an article about a woman who had her fertility restored by receiving an ovarian transplant.  She has had two babies by receiving frozen ovarian tissue There is also an article on natural light and your fertility.  Suggests that our body's cycles/internal clocks are all based on light. Might be something to that?? Mentions statistics on women who slept with a 100 watt light bulb next to them at night were able to better regulate their cycles.  I have tried just about everything...accupuncture, yoga, special fertility messages, fertility bracelet (yes I thought the stones in the bracelet were magic....and still do), so I guess I will look into the products they suggested in this article. I do work over 40 hours a week indoors...maybe I do some more light and vitamin d in my life. Here is the link to the site I am also going to see someone who can get rid of the negative charges in my body.  A family friend suggested I try it and why not I have tried just about everything else right? Hope you find the articles interesting and my thoughts and prayers are with all you wonderful women going through your fertility problems..we will all get through this together. 

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.