My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

Please Help Fund My Research

Economically Organic

Today on Economically Organic:
Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Cruising the Information Highway

My cup runneth over with information. I have a new hobby (shopping step aside, I will need to come back to you once the seasons have officially changed). I have become addicted to reading about nutrition, fertility and celiacs disease. I can’t stop reading books, magazines, blogs and anything else I can get my hands on. Don’t worry, I am recording it all so I can share. I am still feeling frustrated because I have yet to find an article or story regarding someone with diagnosed POF who reversed their symptoms on a gluten free diet. Perhaps, I would be the first?? No there is no way, I just think that the link between the celiac and fertility is not where it should be. If you think about it though….why do so many women with fertility issues conceive after taking wheat/flour out of their diets?? No it’s not a coincidence think about it people!!!! Anyway, I don’t need a stinking article to make me feel better. If I will be the first to turn around my fertility diagnosis then so be it. Damned if I am going to let some diagnosis keep me from being healthy and have a child. I the infertility queen hereby vow that I will no longer think of my diagnosis as a bad thing, it is simply going to make me a much smarter and healthy woman who will prove the doctors all wrong and show them that although it appears my ovaries are working below their potential right now they are merely suffering from lack of nutrition and will be back working in no time. During my last 7 days of nonstop research I found a great blog called Gluten Free Frenzy. This website has all sorts of healthy tips, recipes, books to read and even a column from a licensed herbalist who also lives the gluten free lifestyle. On the blog, there is a list of things you can do in your life to be happy. They are:

1. Love yourself, flaws and all (even the stray gray hairs that seem to have snuck there way in.)

2. Help others

3. Find a creative outlet

4. Keep busy – being busy doesn’t allow time to think about my diagnosis. I’m in, new hobbies here I come.

5. But not too busy – leave time for yourself

6. Appreciate what you have - Focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have.

7. Tickle that funny bone – laugh more

8. Have a support network – love my friends and family they are awesome!

9. Forgive yourself and try again - . Everybody messes up, so dust your shoulders off , take a deep breathe and move on.

10. If all else fails, fake it. You’ll even fool yourself. Studies have shown that smiling for sixteen seconds can boost your mood. After a bad morning today, I turned on my favorite morning radio talk show and laughed my whole way to work.

This morning seemed a bit like a comedy routine. I got up this morning a few minutes late and felt very groggy so naturally I didn’t see that dog toy in the walk way which I tripped over but managed to catch myself on the doorway to the bathroom. While in the shower I must have dropped my razor three times and was surprised I didn’t slip as I got out of the shower. I put my robe on and made my way up the stairs (without tripping or falling) so I figured my clutsy moment had passed….well like usual I thought wrong. Today I started bringing my lunch in order to save money and be sure I wasn’t taking in gluten. I went to the fridge and pulled out the ingredients for both mine and my husbands lunch. I decided to make mine first so that the bread for his sandwich didn’t contaminate the lunch making space. I pulled out the GF tortilla, sprinkled some spinach and sprouts, cut the avocado, sprinkled olive oil on top and as I squeezed the bottle of flaxseed oil to sprinkle on top, about half the bottle sprayed on my lunch and I think the other half went all over the stove. I grumbled under my breath as I immediately cleaned the stove and rolled my lunch up in foil. I managed to make my husbands lunch with no issues and moved on to making my juice. It seemed to go by pretty quickly this morning. I rinsed some lettuce and kale off and shoved it in. Next was the broccoli, half an orange and some carrots. I wasn’t even halfway through with my ingredients and I already needed to empty the glass into the blender. I picked up the newly washed blender and poured my juice in. I was shocked as the juice went directly through the blender onto my robe, the counter and my white Chihuahua. As I looked around at the green, sticky mess I had just made I thought to myself “how the heck did that happen?” I looked back at the blender I was still holding in my hands and saw the problem…..the bottom was not screwed on. How do you not notice something like that is missing? I felt super smart as I got down on my hands and knees to clean the floor, wiped off the counter and rinsed the poor dog off. Frustrated and already running late, I put the blender back together, and re-started the juicing process and was done in 15 minutes. I got dressed and was out the door by 6:30 (the time I need to be at work!). I decided that I was just going to take a deep breathe, turn on my favorite morning talk radio and let my morning roll off my back. It worked, I felt much better as I pulled into the parking garage. As I picked up my computer bag it hit my thermos my juice was in, popped the lid open and spilt half of it in the council of my car. Luckily I keep a roll of paper towels in my car so I walked around to the back to grab the paper towels, cleaned up the mess and walked into work where I then realized that I had my juice all over my clothes. Nothing like a look that says “hi, I am wearing my breakfast.” Needless to say, I had a very trying morning but am amazingly able to sit here and laugh about it. I am anxious to talk to Cheri today. I seem to be gaining weight and don’t understand why (no I’m not preggers, I checked). I feel bloated and hungry all the time. I feel like I am missing something with my nutrition and taking to much of something else. I need to get balanced.

I have a follow up phone convo with Ann, the kinisiologist this Tuesday. When she called to set up the appointment she told me that it might take awhile to get better because I didn’t just wake up sick….it took some time to get this way so it will take some time to undo the damage. I accept that is true and although I am just plain tired of paying doctors to have zero results, I am going to meet with her one last time because I am a believer and believe everything I am currently doing is going to help me get better.

Books of the week for me will be:

Super Immunity Foods

It’s My Ovaries Stupid

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.