My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

Please Help Fund My Research

Economically Organic

Today on Economically Organic:
Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Aint No Rhyme Or Reason.....

This morning was a challenge. Sometimes I have days where I feel like God may be challenging me to see what I can handle and I am proud to say I have been able to let all of the happening of this morning roll off my back and onto the floor and as I write this I am able to smile. I managed to make it to the gym this morning and thanks to my new book, my run just flew by. I was in the “sit up” area finishing my workout when the first challenge approached. On my days that I don’t life weights, I do sit ups and left lifts on one of those large exercise balls. In this area of the rec center, there is really only enough room for two people to lay mats down and comfortable do their sit ups. I was the second person to join the area so I laid down my matt, got the ball off the shelf and went to it. Halfway through my work out someone decided they were not going to take a mat and go elsewhere in the huge two story gym…they were going to wedge themselves in-between myself and the other man that was working out beside me. I then, was forced to move over and wedge myself in-between the weight bars and the matt stand. For the rest of my work out, I couldn’t extend my less without worrying about kicking equipment or the rude person next to me. Part of me (the evil part of me) wanted to just kick him once and act like it was an accident. I let it go and moved into my last ball exercise which is doing push ups while balance my legs on the ball. Doing this exercise requires focus and balance. I was doing quite well when the rude person exercising next to me decided it was time to put up their matt on the matt stand I was now working out on because they had plopped themselves down on top of me to do their sit ups. As this person moved toward the stand, they bumped the exercise ball I was balancing on and send me crashing to the ground. Super annoyed and just got back on the ball without even looking up at this stranger. I am sure they were smiling thinking it was funny they knocked me off the ball and were waiting for me to laugh with them but honestly after waking up with cramps for the third morning in a row…I was not up for laughing and was just trying to get through my morning without yelling at a complete stranger. I finished my workout and was on my way home to get ready for work about five minutes later. On my way home one of my favorite country songs was on the radio so I jammed all the way into the garage. I showered and got dressed pretty quickly and was about to leave when I caught the cabinet door on my blouse as I closed it. The button to the top of my blouse went flying off exposing my bra and what could be my boobs if they were a little bigger. Already running late and feeling flustered, I decided sewing on a button was not an option so I ran upstairs to change. Not even really paying attention to what I put on, I am now sitting here at working thinking…what the heck am I wearing. My thoughts are that if I am thinking this…..I don’t even want to know what my co-workers are thinking. The drive to work was relaxing and I was enjoying the sunlight and the good music until I hit the traffic jam. I had exactly 20 minutes to get to work before the morning meetings started and had high hopes of making it until I spotted the traffic jam. Already feeling stressed, I decided to turn the radio up, breathe and just enjoy the extra time I would have this morning not being at work. I pulled into the garage as my meeting was starting but was feeling ok about it. I mean, that has maybe happened twice in my almost four years with the company. As I went to badge into the garage, I decided to throw my badge out of the window on accident. I had to get the cars behind me to back up so that my stupid, clumsy butt could back my car enough to be able to open my door and pick up my badge. I smiled and waved as cars honked at me. What is that song by Sugarland? “Aint no rhyme or reason, no complicated meaning, Aint no need to over think it, let go laughing”….or something like that. As I drove into my parking spot I was giggling about the badge incident at how annoyed I would be at someone else doing that in front of me. I walked into work with a smile on my face proud of myself for not letting my stressful morning affect my mood. After all, on Monday I found out I can have a baby. This is something I have been praying about for so long and it has come true! I had to laugh at my hubby last night. I was goofing around while getting ready from bed and he looked at me and said “we can’t tonight, we have to wait until tomorrow”. I laughed and asked “what are you talking about?” Then he replied “We have to let my sperm build up.” I then realized that he does listen to me when I am telling him the things he needs to do in order to better our chances of having a bambino. Sometimes I feel like he is just sitting there waiting for me to sop running my mouth. Or course knowing my personality and knowing his…I am sure sometime he is waiting for some peace and quiet but that moment last night made me feel like he was in this now. It truly is amazing how much the doctors appointment on Monday has already changed our lives for the better. Everyone needs a little good news once in a while. Well today is day four of the horrible cramps in the morning. I believe it is from my stopping my progesterone supplements. It is my body saying “what the heck.” My temperature is at 97.2 for the third day in a row which is a good sign. My temperatures are no longer all over the chart. They seem to be somewhat normal which is not normal for me. I continue to be more encouraged every day and am very excited to see my acupuncturist today. Stimulate those follicles…stimulate away …I say. One more day until the weekend…yay! (yes I meant for that to rhyme…)

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.