My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

Please Help Fund My Research

Economically Organic

Today on Economically Organic:
Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

An apology to Mr. Pituitary...and becomig economically organic

I was faced with my first diet challenge yesterday. My work group surprised me with a gluten free, Godiva chocolate cheesecake for my birthday. This is my favorite dessert and I was so tempted to have a piece. I even cut a piece and was about to jump in when I an image of a baby popped into my mind. I then decided to set the piece of cake down. I felt like eating it was going to be taking a step back from what I was trying to accomplish. I sat and watched everyone else eat my birthday cake. To make myself feel better, I reminded myself how many much time I would have to spend on the treadmill to burn just one piece made me feel better. After a long day at work my kickboxing class was just what the doctor ordered! Literally, the more you exercise, the more quickly the body can heal. When you exercise, you are pumping more oxygen through your body which speeds up the healing process. As I punched the bag, I talked to trash to infertility and told it to kindly get the F away from me. I was thinking in my head “you think you can bully me? Huh, well how do you like this?” and then I would do my punch combination right in infertility’s face. I kicked his butt and mine at the same time. By the time class was over, I couldn’t feel my arms. As I walked around the grocery store after class, I had to lift each selection with both hands because my arms were shaking so bad. People probably thought I had some sort of muscle condition the way my arms were shaking as I picked up each item. While sitting in a long meeting yesterday, I decided that I need to apologize to my pituitary gland. You see, I have been blaming Mr. Pituitary for our high FSH when it is really Mr. & Mrs. Ovary causing the high reading. Mr. Pituitary has been sending out the FSH and the Ovary’s are not responding to the signals. After not hearing back from the Ovary’s, Mr. Pituitary sends more FSH and so on and so on…and that is what causes an FSH reading of 89. So I am very sorry Mr. Puitary, keep up the good work. Mr. & Mrs. Ovary, time to pick up the slack. You have had quite a nice and lengthy rest and we have all been pretty understanding but enough is enough. We are all a team and you are causing our team to not even be able to contend with all of the other local teams. Not to be competitive but I am a winner not a loser, I want to contend! Besides, Mr. & Mrs. Ovary, it is rude to keep ignoring the gifts Mr. Pituitary has been sending you and not respond to him and say thank you. I command you to start responding in a more timely manner and get with the program. I will continue to support you and give you everything you need to be successful but you have to give a little to. Capish?

Yesterday was day 6 of having a large amount of CM. Although it is still not the consistency needed to make a bambino, this is a good sign of better things to come. I am inspired by my friend’s story and at the wonderful benefits from my new diet. I know that just have to be patient and things will continue to improve after all “good things happen to those who wait.” I have never had patience and I think this is one of the many things I have learned on my fertility journey. Lately whenever I get upset after hearing that yet another one of my friends is expecting, I just say to myself “patience, my friend, patience.” My juice this morning was a bit tart. My advice to any of you who have decided to start juicing…match every fruit you put into the juicer with a vegetable. I put to much fruit in mine this morning and it was too citrusy (if that is a word). I was able to drink it but a little bit at a time. It tasted like I was swimming in the middle of a ripe pink grapefruit. It has been an hour since I downed the last drop and my mouth is still sour. Something else to remember, when you are juicing oranges or grapefruits, leave the peels on. The peels are packed with all kinds of nutrients that you wouldn’t usually get by eating the fruits whole. Think of it as more bang for your buck which when you are eating organic foods you are already spending more of your bucks then you would like on your food so leave the peels on! My mother and I were discussing our strategy on purchasing foods for our new diets. We have decided to check the adds for all three of the local natural grocers and buy only what is on special at each place. This will allow us to not spend $60 on two small bags of groceries and cause my husbands stress level to remain at a manageable level. I am going to buy large amounts of the fruits and veggies that are on sale each week. What I don’t use of the fruit each week, can be sliced and frozen (most of it anyway) to be used at a different time. I have a large freezer in my garage that is just waiting to be filled with yummy organic fruits. This freezer is the only area that I haven’t filled with my crap (says my husband) but that is about to change. My Mom and I are going to be economically organic (that sounds like the name of a magazine), so coupon book get the dust out of your pockets and get ready for some action! This coupon, sale following idea was created in order to keep my hubby happy. He has nicely asked me to stop spending all our money on the latest treatments and supplements and start focusing on something else… like him. I told him my new plan on being economically organic and promised to stop ignoring him…after all, I can’t make a baby by myself :0)

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.