My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Why strangers find the need to ask???

I woke up yesterday with the start of a sinus infection…booo. I refuse to miss work because of it though, I’m not gonna. I will just end up cleaning the house and doing laundry not even resting so I might as well be here at work not getting behind right?? I am chugging emergen-c so hopefully it works. Still no visit from Aunt flow and still no call from the reproductive endocrinologist’s office. This wait is going to slowly make me go insane!!!! I am waiting until the end of the week and then I’m calling again, I don’t care if I am annoying the secretary this is my health we are dealing with here people! So I wanted to share a story from last Saturday night. During the day on Saturday, my mom and I met a friend of mine for lunch and then walked around the local mall. I was surprised to see a ton of very pregnant women there which really upset me. My mom tried her best to make me feel better but when I pulled into the garage I was still upset. I was surprised to find my husbands family in the living room when I got home. I felt better seeing everyone as I walked in. We decided to go to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant that my husband’s family has been going to for over 20 years. This location is new but the owners are the same. When we first sat down, the owner’s sister came over and asked my father in law “is this your only grandchild?” my father in law just nodded. Then she looked at my husband and I and said “what is going on, you guys don’t want kids”. Shocked we just sat there for a minute and then my husband said “well we have two dogs right now and that is enough”. She seemed to be happy with the response and went about her business. When it was time to pay the bill she was the one who brought us the bill. As my husband handed her his card she said “well I hope that you two decided to have children they are such blessings”, my husband just smiled and said “we are trying”. The owner’s sister then said “well great, if it is meant to be then it will happen”. She is lucky she walked away when she did because I was about to hit her right in-between the eyes. She had taken a lovely dinner out with family into another situation that reminded me of the situation I am currently in. When she asked that question, it was like a slap in the face. Why do people who hardly know you think its ok to ask “when you are going to have kids”? To me, it so rude to put someone on the spot like that. There I was enjoying the evening with family, trying to forget about all of the pregnant women at the mall and right about the time I forgot, there is someone else reminding me…and I hate when people tell me what is meant to be will be because I don’t want to believe I wasn’t meant to be a mother!! Enough about that….I received a call from an insurance agent this afternoon. He left a voice mail while I was in a meeting so I am anxious to call him back after work and see what he has to say. Maybe he found some coverage?????

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.