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My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Beyond Frustrated

Today is Monday, my most un favorite day of the week. Today also means that another week has gone by without hearing from the new doctor's office.  This waiting is killing me!  I feel like the time I may have left to have children with my own eggs is vanishing by the day and I am wasting time. I have already called the doctor's assistant so many times that I would be willing to bet I am on a list of people they are not responding to.  I dont care though, this is my health, my chance at having chidren and I will stalk the assitant if I want to! I managed to not call for a week and a half and just couldnt take it anymore. I just called and the doctor has her Colorado license but will most likely not be seeing patients until March.  Today is Feb 1, that means I have to wait an entire month to see this new doctor!  I have such high hopes for this new doctor. That she might be able to help me get things working enough so that I an harvest some of my eggs or better yet that she will help me restore my fertility. All of this waiting is just getting my hopes up more and more.  I pray that she is able to help me.  I will continue to take my natural progetesrone supplements and stay on a fertility diet, except I will be drinking some alcohol...dont judge me I need to relax!  I tried to relax a bit last night by taking a bath. I had only been in for about 5 minutes when I smelled something funny. I opened the shower curtain to see that one of my chihuahuas had taken a dump right next to the tub...guess it was a present for me??? Anyway I got up to clean it and never got back in my relaxing tub because as soon as the mess was cleaned up, the dryer buzzed and I decided to start laundry duty again.  I did manage to do some of my restoring fertility dvd which actually gave me cramps afterwards. I love that dvd, it gives me hope that our bodies can heal themselves. I think I will also make an accupuncture appointment to, it has beeen over a month since my last treatment.
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Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.