My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Economically Organic

Today on Economically Organic:
Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Tax Problems and Advice...take it or leave it

Last night my husband and I went to see our tax lady and were very excited to see what we were going to get back. We were sure a good return was in the cards for us. Turns out us not having a child or in tax terms “dependent” caused us to owe! I almost fell off my chair when the tax lady said that we. Come on! How the F, can we possibly owe the government money after we watched them take over 40% of our pay/bonuses in 2009? After demanding an explanation from my tax lady (who could tell I was on the verge of tears), I listened and cringed every time she said the phrase “because you don’t have any dependents”. There I was, trying to stay freaking positive, trying not to focus on my fertility issues and just trying to get some long deserved money from the government and there was my daily fertility reminder! Just let me be happy and positive please! I mean it’s not like we are choosing to not have any dependents so please lets dig the knife deeper into the wound! To make matters worse, we were not able to write off any of my medical bills since they didn’t exceed the certain % of our combined income. Don’t get me wrong, I feel very blessed that both my husband and I not only have jobs but are both doing very well in our jobs. It’s just that we were hoping to use money from our tax return to save for IVF and also hoping to get some of the money back we spent on fertility drugs, appointments and acupuncture. For those of you “dependentless”, my tax lady told us a few things we could do so that we can get a good return next year.

1. Increase the amount we are putting in our 401Ks each month

2. Donate more or at least keep track of what we donate

3. Be sure that both of you are claimed as 0 and not 1 on your W2. Once you have children, one of you will need to claim 1 and the other 0 or else you wont be able to get the dependent write off.

4. If you purchase a car in 2010, get an equity loan? Have no idea what that means?

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night because I was so upset over the “no dependent” thing and because I was dreading waking up from a night sweat which has become a regular occurrence. Not sure why? This morning I had an abundance of thick, white CM. This is encouraging to me so despite what all of the doctors have said I am going to continue to believe things are going to get better. I am no longer eating gluten (wheat), I am watching the caffeine and alcohol intake and am going to start taking all of my supplements again. I will help my body heal and I will have a baby. I am starting to look into getting better insurance coverage for my fertility treatments, wish me luck! And best to luck for everyone as they do their taxes! Good articles to ready today….

1. Information on how Celiacs is related to fertility issues

2. Information on fertility meds (stimulating the endocrine system)

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.