My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

A frenemy at work....and an interesting fertility suggestion

So, first I must vent about someone at work who seems to have it out for me. This particular person used to be a good friend of mine, even came to my wedding, but lately has been very absent which is frustrating because right now is when I need my friends the most. Their distance just made me think they had some personal things going on and they just wanted space from everyone at work. I have tried a handful of times to talk to this person and see what is wrong and they promise me it is just what is going on in their personal lives so I haven’t worried about it….until this week. While in a meeting with this particular person yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice that everytime I talked, this person would either write a note to the person beside her or look at that person and the two of them would roll their eyes or laugh. Thinking I was paranoid, I purposely spoke out in the meeting a few times to see if they did it again….and they did each time. I of course acted like it didn’t bother me…wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing they were getting under my skin like that. But me being me, I was upset about it the rest of the day and was even thinking about it on my drive in this morning. I was just going to let it go but then this person made a nasty comment about what I am wearing today when they were walking behind me in the hallway. Being on day 3 of bad cramps, I was so close to just turning around and screaming “What the F is your problem?”. I have never been anything but nice to this person and I am really confused why someone would turn on me like this. The giggling at someone else is very elementary school and really ticks me off!!! Ok had to get that out of my system. So I finally got the fertility monitor to read a test stick this morning. Here are the results:

It says I have low fertility. The instructions state it is not very likely but not impossible to conceive when the reading is low. I pray that there is a change in the readings throughout the next couple of weeks. Even an increase up one box would send me into an intercourse rampage trying to catch mr/mrs. egg in time. Here is what my basil temparture chart looks like this morning.

 I’m going to keep using the monitor and charting in the rare case that they might flag a window of opportunity for me. If not, this will at least keep me busy while I wait to see the reproductive endocrinologist and fertility specialist. Something to ponder….while reading through my discussion I have been a part of since June 2009, I came upon an entry making a suggestion to women who have just gone off the pill and are trying to conceive. The writer states that she was on the pill for 8 years and went off in 2006 to try and have a baby. She didn’t get a period for 6 months so she went to the doctor who told her hormone levels were low but everything else looked normal. She went on progesterone crème for 3 months and still nothing so she decided to go back on birth control for one month until she got a period and then went off of it again. She then resumed normal periods. She will be celebrating her daughters 1st birthday this spring and is currently trying her birth control method again since they are trying for baby #2. I am considering trying this before I select donor long as it wont mess up the IVF process. Well I must get to work. It’s almost Friday…thank the lord!!!

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.