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My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Bad Habbits Die Hard

So my giving up Caffeine is not happening as easliy as I had thought it would. I find myself craving a diet dr. pepper or ddp as our office calls them. I crave that cold, refreshing taste of the stuff. It would be differnt if I felt that cutting out caffiene from diet had helped when I did it before but it didnt help so why should I suffer when clearlt one caffienated beverage a day obviously wasnt the answer to my fertility problems. I have got to stop working and start living.  Tomorrow is Weds, I swear I am not going to have an ounce of caffiene tomorrow....well wait a minute does chocolate count?  When I woke up this morning from a deep sleep I quickly realized two things. One, I had overslept by an hour and two, I had really bad menstrual cramps. They lasted until about lunch time and then dissapeared. I also noticed my digestion was very on top of things today. Not sure if those two things could be related??? I have a feeling that when I go to see Jeff, my acupuncturist this week, he is going to get even more frustrated. He expressed his frustration last time I was in. He doesnt understand why I am not responding but was optimistic. He is currently taking a class on follicule stimulation...lucky me I guess. I will have to be the guinea pig on all the new techniques he is learning. I know it is all going to be all right and that this will all be worth it. Just wish it could happen already. I am not asking for a pregnancy right now, just a visit from mother nature with that nicely wrapped package. Oh who am I kidding, I would take the monthly gift unwrapped, in fact she can just throw at me and I will try and catch it.
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2 comments:

  1. KJanuary 26, 2011 at 7:48 AM

    I was in a similar situation but I was addicted and craved diet caffeine free dr. pepper. I have always had sleep issues and never drink caffeine but I loved the cold bubbly flavor of soda. I did give it up for over 3 years. Sadely with no change in any of fertility dreams. For a year now I have been back on the diet caffenine free dr pepper wagon and I have to say this is just a small example of what you said but you said it PERFECTLY!!!! YOU HAVE TO STOP WORKING AND START LIVING! I know easier said than done but its a great thought.

    ReplyDelete
  2. karly from [kar[+]wade]January 27, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    hope you start feeling better!
    -karly
    www.karpluswade.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.