Tuesday, November 10, 2009




So….I have figured out how I can still have Starbucks. Since I have been a customer for three years at the location near my work they have agreed to make me my pumpkin spice latte with rice milk that I bring in. Now I can get the latte made with rice milk and decaf without whip cream. I know it doesn’t sound good but it still taste yummy. I also tried a fertility yoga class last Friday. The instructor was really great. She started off the class by telling us to let go of any negative feelings we had toward fertility and then went into an explanation on how Eastern Medicine doesn’t believe there is such a thing as infertility. That our bodies are made to have babies and we will have them when the time is right. I immediately knew that this class was going to be a good thing for me. I arrived first and the second to arrive was a woman named Emily. We started talking and sharing our stories. She was 40 and had just had a miscarriage. She was taking the class to get her body ready to try again. The other two attendees were late twenties early thirties trying to get their bodies ready to have a child. The instructor explained that allot of the poses that stimulate hormones required our legs to be open and that we needed to have an open mind and just flow with the class. She wasn’t kidding, I found myself in the most awkward poses…things I wasn’t sure I would even try with my husband. There I was with my legs open to the world…asking for the miracle of a child. Usually how that works anyway…requires your legs to be open. The instructor explained the breathing was such a huge part of the treatment and that we needed to choose a mantra to say to ourselves when we were breathing in and out. Breathing out was a way to get rid of the things/stress we didn’t want to hold onto anymore and breathing in was a way to give our body what we think it needs. I decided my breath in would be good fertility and my breathe out would be bad fertility/ovarian failure. At the end of the class, the instructor had us meditate and try and picture certain colors of light hitting us. Each color stood for something. The first was a white light that was for healing, the second was green for fertility and the third well I’m not sure what the third was because all I could see was blue. When the class was over I asked the instructor what blue was and she said that it was calming and that was fine if I was seeing that instead of what she was saying. I left that class feeling better and encouraged, I decided to go to the class once a week for the next two months and combine it with my acupuncture. I spent Saturday with my mother and best friend Christina. Christina is in the early stages of her pregnancy and was not feeling well the entire time. I couldn’t help but think how much I wished that I could be the one with morning sickness. I would have given anything to not be able to eat or smell things or feel like I was going to get sick every hour of every day. I know I am deranged huh? I kept repeating in my head the mantra my yoga instructor had told me to repeat while I was practicing my breathing… In good fertility and out ovarian failure/bad fertility. Every time I felt myself getting upset that day I just did my breathing mantra. I even did it this morning on my way to work because I woke up just feeling emotional and tired. The past two days I have some cramping in my lower abdomen on the left side close to where my ovaries are. I am wondering what is going on? I have had creamy CM since going back on progesterone but nothing clear. I pray that I ovulate this time and that my husband and I catch it at the right time. We are trying every other night for the next two months. I know I ovulated the last time while taking the progesterone….just hope I do it again.



I have been reading allot of medical website blogs about women who are in similar situations. Most are very encouraging but it still seems that we are diagnosed as infertile way to quickly. On one of the women had read my posts and responded to me. She was 35 and had been on the pill for 17 years. She hadn’t had a period for the first two months of being off the pill so she went in for a blood test and her FSH was around 113. She said she had normal periods before going on the pill and that she was really worried. I gave her a list of things she could immediately do to try and get her FSH down and suggested a few books for her to read. I do feel for her, I know how she feels.