My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Tuesday, November 3rd

Last week was a long one. We had an early blizzard in Colorado and we had a day and a half of snow days. I got to break out my long sweater, leggings and uggs. Snow bunnies of Denver watch out! On one of the snow days, I had lunch with a group of my friends one of which who is expecting her first child. As I sat there at lunch, I was surprised and relieved that I didn’t feel sad when I was talking to her about her pregnancy. It seems that the initial shock and pain of possibly not having children has passed…either that or I am in denial. It was so nice to sit there and not feel sorry for myself. I think that is mostly happening because I refuse to accept that I am not going to have kids. I still think that my body has to regulate itself after being on birth control for so long. Another reason last week seemed to drag on is that October 28th was supposed to be the day I started my period. After receiving word from my OBGYN that my progesterone levels were low, I wasn’t expecting a period but…. a girls gotta keep hoping. This would have been my first period without the progesterone so I am a bit disappointed but I am not giving up yet. My doctor called today to check in and make sure I am going to start taking the progesterone again. The plan is for me to start taking it again today and then go in on December 18th for another FSH test. Hopefully I will get an early Christmas present. I asked her about taking Clomid and she said at this point that is a very bad idea. She is very optimistic that my ovaries are coming back and doesn’t want to damage them with the Clomid. She also said that there is a chance I could get pregnant while taking progesterone so I am going to officially be on operation baby making. We will have to “try” every other day for the next two months and see if it works. No cheating on my dairy and wheat free diets and I will have to cut soy out again. Good bye starbucks hello crappy rice milk in grouse work coffee!!! I am also going to start taking healing yoga classes and go to acupuncture once a week again. I will get pregnant in the next three months!!! I am not giving up yet, I am so close I can feel it!!! My FSH wouldn’t have gone down if I weren’t getting better.

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.