My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Economically Organic

Today on Economically Organic:
Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Your Going Down FSH!

This morning didn’t go as badly as I had thought it would. After getting home around 11:30 PM last night, I figured I would be exhausted when I got up at 4:45 AM but to my surprise I am extremely energetic and feel great! I think it is because of my fruit/veggie smoothie I drank on my way to work mixed in with a great session of car karaoke. The people who drive next to me must get a good laugh off of me. They would get an even bigger laugh if they saw me rocking out on my American Idol Wii game…I love that thing! After over a week off strange cramping, I decided to take a HPT this morning. I didn’t get the result I was hoping for but that isn’t a bad thing. The cramping means there is activity, and that, for now, is good enough for me. When I woke up this morning, I noticed that I already had a wet sensation down in my lower female parts which was weird because usually no CM shows up until I have been up for at least 4 hours. It was thick and cloudy just like two days before. I just don’t know what to think because yesterday, I hardly had any CM after having tons the day before and now this morning I have the thick cloudy stuff again! What the F is going on? I feel that a letter to my body is needed….

Dear body, I know that I have been feeding “us” unhealthy versions of foods that I considered to be relatively good for me for years and that we were eating gluten for over 20 years when we shouldn’t have been. I am also aware that I took BC for over 10 years and pumped those “fake” hormones into us. I take full responsibility for my actions and am working to correct them as I write this letter. We are now on a complete organic diet! I am going to give you all the enzymes and oxygen we need to build up our immune system and get all our processes back up and rolling. I promise you that I will never revert back to my old eating habits as long as you promise to work with me in repairing the damages. I have felt you working & improving in the past month and am excited to see what the next month will bring. I wish I had an ultrasound machine at home so I could check in on the Mr. and Mrs. Ovary once in awhile or check on the status of Suzie Cervix and see if she has gotten any thicker. I know that all of you are working hard to mend things but just wish I could watch the improvements day by day. Hey, Pituitary Gland……it’s go time! Let’s stimulate some follicles! Hey follicles, you are already starting to work (which I appreciate) but let’s pick up the pace a bit, let’s respond a bit faster to the FSH Mr. Pituitary is feeding you. Hey Suzie Cervix, let’s respond to the maturing follicles and get a thicker lining so an embryo can successfully implant. And last but not least….FSH I am not afraid of you anymore! You are beatable so the intimidation stops here. I will work my butt off until I have successfully pounded you down to level that you belong. The sooner you get with the program, the sooner we can all get along! Let’s all focus so we can bring back out long missed monthly friend. Remember there is no “I” in Team! Talk to you soon, Love, Me.

I purchased the “Crazy Sexy Cancer” book and read over half of it yesterday. It confirmed that I need to do a cleanse to clean out my colon. In the book, the author states that the “average American is walking around with 7 pounds of waste in their colon” and that everyone should be going number “2 at least three times a day and if you aren’t then your colon is backed up”. Not that you want to know this but even with my recent diet change, I only go once a day. The book explains that as we eat processed foods that our bodies have a hard time digesting, the food gets hung up in our colons. This information along with the fact that my grandfather passed away from colon cancer is exactly what I needed to confirm that a cleanse needs to be done. I will be going to Vitamin Cottage this weekend to purchase whatever the concoction is I will have to swallow in order to clean Mr. Colon out. I am choosing not to take it on Sunday, because it is my birthday and I choose not to spend the day on the toilet. I will instead come home early from work one day next week and do “the cleanse” then. It takes about 4 hours for everything to come out…oh boy something to look forward to! It’s sick, but I am looking forward to it. If I am carrying that much extra weight around in my colon, no wonder why my body isn’t functioning correctly! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.