Mother Nature are you there?

Back to life, back to reality…yes I am humming the tune to myself as I sit here at work. Today is Thursday and you know what that means. Probably not only I am obsessed with Thursdays. No it’s not only because it means I only have one day left until the weekend, it is because Thursday is testing day. Every Thursday morning I take a pregnancy test.  I have had some weird cramping and have been more tired then usual so I was hopeful of a different result this morning but I am sad to report that there wasn’t a plus sign staring back at me once I finally got up the nerve to look at the results.  I guess I will just have to leave it the fertility specialist to help us get pregnant. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t still terrified to go back into that office even thought its been over a year since my husband and I were last there. Our insurance company will only pay for one round of IVF with donor eggs and two rounds of IUI/IVF with my eggs. The problem is that I have to get my FSH down to 12 or below for them to let me use my eggs which means that I am going to be in fertility boot camp for the next three weeks until our appointment with the specialist on August 6^th.  My next blood test is next Friday.  I have been working on my meditation exercises and getting that wheatgrass in everyday. The meditation exercise is picturing my brain sending FSH to my ovaries and then my ovaries responding and sending a message back to my brain. This is what causes FSH to stop being produced and in turn lowers the number.  My last ultrasound displayed that there are eggs in my ovaries so that means my ovaries should have no trouble responding to the FSH and start maturing an egg when they receive the signal from my brain right?? Mr. and Mrs. Ovary lets go. It is important you not ignore Mr. Brain. Yes he is a little above you and have been trying to over work you but it’s not his fault. He lives so far away, he can’t see you working so he just keeps trying to get a hold of you. Please try really hard to respond more quickly to Mr. Brain and let him know you are on top of things down there. Ok..enough talking to my organs.  I am pretty confident that my FSH will be around 15-20 next Friday when they take the test.  I have been doing a lot of thinking and along with the milk thistle for my liver, I think I am going to start taking a natural thyroid supplement and also look up ways to naturally stimulate the pituitary gland. The liver, thyroid and pituitary gland all help to make ovulation possible so I am going to give it a go. I am really scared for the appointment to come in August. I had so hoped that I would have had another period by then.  I have been doing just about everything I can think of to get better and although I have seen improvements, still no sign of mother nature with the return of my monthly gift.  Please mother nature, I like gifts, pick me please!