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My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Witch doctor? Or the missing link?

Today was a very nice day. I got up, went to church and then spent the rest of the day visiting with family and friends and holding their newborn babies. While visiting my cousin, I found out that her friend that was with us has just found out she is expecting. Although I silenty thought why is this so easy for everyone else? I also was very happy for her and didnt get sad at all. I walked through baby stores with both of them, picked out outfits and waiting  for the sadness to set in...it never did. As I drove home I was happy that I had gotten to visit with them. I went to dinner with my husband and then drove to one of my very best friends house to catch up with her and see her baby for the first time in four weeks. He has gotten so bed and my friend is such a great mom.  We chatted for three hours and then I headed home.  I am glad I am at a point where I can enjoy these moments again and feel genuinely happy for all of my family members and friends as they become mothers.  I would be sad for myself if I had to miss those types of moments. On my way home, I was talking to my mom and she mentioned the "witch" doctor coming into the bank she works at. This doctor was the kinesiologist I was suppossed to go see a few months ago but cancelled the appointment.  They talked a bit about my fertility issues and the doctor offered a free consultation for me to come see her and see if she could help me. She told my mom she believed something was blocking my reproductive system.  Since ending my conversation with my mother, I have been thinking about this....I am going to call and schedule a second appointment and keep it. This doctor is moving to Texas in two months so this is my chance. I believe everything happens for a reason and the fact that she went to my mom's bank, got my mom as a teller and remembered my case might mean that she could be my missing link???  I am going to call first thing tomorrow morning.  This week is going to be very busy for me. I have class Mon-Weds for work, a golf tornament on Thurs and an FSH blood test on Friday. I will go see Mrs. W on Monday and Thursday afternoons and have an appointment for accupuncture on Weds. I will also be going every morning and doing an extra FSH shot this week. I know my FSH has gone down but I am curious to see by how much??  Friday can't get here fast enough!
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Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.