My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Still Waiting....

As I sit here preparing to go back to work after a long 6 days off, I am still waiting to find out what exactly it was that I felt two weeks ago today. My acupuncturist and I both believe it was me ovulating but after many let downs during this entire process I am afraid to get my hopes up.  Since last Tuesday, I have had runny almost water like CM and a dull cramp on my right side.  I have had some breast tenderness and for the past two days have felt sick after eating my first meal of the day. Could I be pregnant? Or is this just me messing with my own head again?  I was told to wait another full week to take a test but am going to report these symtoms to Jeff tomorrow and see what he thinks.  I have read that a lot of CM like I have been experiencing could be early pregnancy symptoms, I pray that this is what is happening with my body.  Only 7 more days until I find out....I can wait 7 more days....can't I?


  1. Goodluck to you! I have been following your blog for about 2 weeks now and I share in your pain of infertility. While, I haven't had the same issues you have, I have had my fair share. I got pregnant in Dec 2007 and found out 10 weeks later that we no longer were pregnant... since then I haven't been able to get pregnant again. We have been through all the pokes and prods I am sure you are familiar with. I haven't tried acupuncture, but I have heard great things about it. We have gone through one round of IUI and it failed. I have been diagnosed with endometriosis and insulin resistant PCOS but I don't have the typical symptoms most experience... I ovulate, each and every month... so why haven't I gotten pregnant? I think all my hormones are off whack and I am now on a good combination of meds to help them get back on track - I think. We also have a slight male factor issue. January we will start IUI again.

    I hope you finally have gotten your dream... symptoms seem hopeful for you! What CD are you on? I will be checking back for your progress.

    If you want to follow my blog, let me know and I will be happy to add you to the reader's list.

  2. Are you ok?? If the news was good than I am so so so happy for you but if the news was not so good I am so so so sorry. I know how hard that can be and sometimes this time of year is not easy. Just wanted to say I am thinking of you and hoping your ok. Kelly


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Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.