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My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.



Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Counting My Eggs Before They Have Hatched??

The weekend was filled with surprises. During my acupuncture on Friday, I had twitches all over the place which is a good thing because it shows activity. The CU Buffaloes & Denver Broncos actually won a game and I had some activity in what felt like both of my ovaries on Saturday and again on Sunday. On Saturday, I was standing at the CU tailgate munching on my breakfast when both my ovaries started to hurt. It was almost like a dull pain kind of like a pinching sensation on both sides. This went on for most of the afternoon and evening. I was talking about it with my mother in law and she smiled and said “maybe you are about to release an egg”. I laughed it off thinking in my head “yeah right” and went on to the football game. When we got home, I put a heating pad over my lower belly while doing my nightly foot soak and fell asleep not really thinking much of it. The last time I was on progesterone supplements, I had cramping just about everyday. This was a bit different then the cramping I had before but I just figured it was yet another side effect. I woke up pretty early on Sunday morning to go and spend the day with my family. I got ready and made it to their house in under an hour. We ate breakfast (yummy gluten free bisquick pancakes) and as my mom and I were cleaning the dishes, I all of a sudden got an explosive pain on my lower right side where I believe my right ovary to be. It wasn’t extremely painful, almost felt like something had burst and followed by a dull pain that lasted for about an hour. I sat down at the kitchen table and drank some warm green tea while I waited for the pain to go away and sent my husband this text “Something just happened but I’m not sure what. Got an intense pain on my right side of my uterus that lasted for about an hour.” Not a wife’s typical text to a husband but I guess we are not the typical couple. Sadly, these types of texts have become normal with us. I update him on all changes I feel in my body….I know what you are thinking...lucky him. As I sat there waiting for the pain to go away, my mind started racing. “What if the was implantation? No silly that couldn’t be, you haven’t been ovulating, this is your first month on the hormones. What could it be then??? Could it actually be ovulation? Or what if it was a cyst? No, I couldn’t have that bad of luck, could I?” Since this happened, I have really been trying hard to keep my promise to the hubby and focus on something else but I am failing miserably. I came in to work this morning and immediately starting doing research. According to what I read, I either ovulated or have ovarian cysts. I am going with the first one….something to celebrate! It is so great because my husband and I had “time together” on Saturday night right before Mr. or Mrs. Egg (I don’t discriminate) popped out. Now the race is on to catch the egg. I am picturing a fun game of little sperm racing with the egg. I should call the next couple of days “As the Sperm Swim”. Couldn’t have timed it better if I were actually using all of the ovulation devices I have in my bathroom drawer. I feel like I could be jinxing things by talking about it like counting my eggs before they are hatched only in my case before they are fertilized. Oh well, the fact that I am feeling any changes at all is truly a blessing with the already amazing changes I have felt since starting the hormones and DHEA. Anything else on top of feeling like I am supposed to will just be an added bonus. I have an appointment with Jeff this week and I am very excited to tell him what has happened since our last meeting on Friday and see what he has to say.



So just got back from my appointment with Jeff and “Houston we have received confirmation.” It is in his expert opinion (not just mine) that I ovulated on Sunday!!! As soon as he said it I immediately started crying and thinking in my head “Holy Shit”. Excuse my French but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think any of the things I am doing would work. I mean I have always had hope but man I never thought this would happen the first cycle on the hormones and only after seeing Jeff for a month!!!! I have officially experienced a miracle! I have gone from being told in May of 2009 that I had flat ovaries with no eggs, to a year later March 2010 being told I had round ovaries with standing follicles to this week being told that I have officially ovulated. Say it with me now Holy Sh_t!!!!! Jeff did say to not get my hopes up. That my body is still adjusting to trying to work properly again and that although a pregnancy is possible this month, we should concentrate on being happy with what I have already gotten out of my body this month. I told him I had no problem with that and that I wouldn’t be devasted if a pregnancy didn’t happen this month. Jeff told me no heavy working out, to cancel an allergy testing appointment I had scheduled for this Friday and to continue to be religious about doing my nightly footbaths. As I laid there during my treatment, I picture an egg with arms, legs and a smiley face walking through a fallopian tube with a flash light who is met by a new swimming friend. The two of them join up and navigate through the tube and into the uterus together and then find a permanent home to put stakes in and start building their new temporary home. Silly I know but I fell asleep halfway through this ridiculous story building. When I woke up I was ready to face the rest of my work day and wait on my husband to call with results from his doctor’s appointment. The holiday season can’t possibly get any better! I already have my Christmas miracle. Thank you Lord for blessing me with this new beginning, I pray that it eventually leads to another miracle but it waits on you :0) Just wanted to welcome little Julia into the world. She was born last week but this is my first post since then. Congrats S & D on a beautiful baby girl!

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Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.