My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Friday, April 30, 2010


Sorry forgot to post this on Monday before I left for my trip…..I went in for my second colon cleanse a six days ago and I feel great. This time we didn’t do an ionic foot bath, Mrs. W had me lay on a table that had a whole body message with infared lights. I laid there for about 30 minutes and got a message that stops periodically at certain pressure points and was able to really relax. The message is supposed to help relax your body before you get the cleanse. It worked, I was relaxed and ready to “take it”. This time after the cleanse when I went to the bathroom, I did release quite a bit of water. It was a very strange feeling but I got the water out and was on my way. This time Mrs. W sent me with the half gallon of ionized water since I was going to be traveling and couldn’t take me water with me. She told me to be sure and take my probiotic supplements and to call her if I had any side effects. She explained that as you get more cleanse, your body might resist and therefore you can feel kind of icky for a day or two. I made an appointment for my third cleanse for 9 days later and walked out the door. My husband was waiting for me as I walked outside. I climbed in and we started the drive to the natural grocer. We talked about what he had done while I was in my appointment and what we were going to get at the grocery store but not once did he ask how my appointment went. I continue to be shocked that he isn’t at all curious as to what goes on at all my appointments. I mean, he has to be curious doesn’t he? Whether it is acupuncture, OBGYN or colon cleansing appointments he has to be curious. I let it go, guessing he didn’t want to get into how the cleaning of my colon had gone and we talked about my upcoming business trip and his golf tee time he had the next day. When we got to the store I was sure to take in my new list of items Mrs. W had told me to get. Nutritional yeast was first on my list. I went to the bins where most of the grains were and spotted it. There wasn’t much left in the bin so I couldn’t really scoop some that the color hadn’t been changed from being exposed by light in the store but I got about 2 cups worth. I was sure to get flaxseed oil to mix with olive oil for salad dressing, my probiotic pills in the organge box and I got about 3 cups of long grain brown rice. I picked up a few vegetables and we were on our way. When we got home, I noticed that I was getting a headache so I put the groceries away and went up to lay down. I ended up staying in be the rest of the night. I didn’t feel awful, just a headache and felt kind of tired. When I woke up the next day I felt fine and was glad that I the side effects from the cleanse didn’t seem to be spilling over into my Sunday. My husband went to his golf lesson and I hung out at home cleaning and packing for my business trip. I went to lunch with my Mom and went shopping but was sure to get back in time to start cooking dinner. I wanted to use some of my new groceries Mrs. W had suggested. I am excited to tell you that the nutritional yeast does taste a bit like cheese and when mixed with the brown rice or put on top of a baked potatoes it is really good! I even took a bit with me on my trip. The flaxseed oil mixed with olive oil is really good. Flax is really good for protein and is also said to help restore healthy estrogen levels in the body. I feel like drinking the stuff..the more estrogen the better. I try and sprinkle it on everything I eat now. It has been a few days since my last cleanse now and for the past two days, I have had lots of thin, clear CM. Today there was a lot and it makes me kind of worry because I am in a different state traveling and I hope my hubby and I are not missing our first shot in 5 months to make a baby! I hope this happens next month too. It is probably god making sure my body is ready before the baby starts growing inside me.

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Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.