My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Things that make you go hmmmm

Took another test on Saturday and it was negative. My husband said he “had a feeling” so I felt extra bad when all I saw was one solid line on the test when I so desperately wanted to see two. I know in my head though that my body isn’t ready. I am just starting to allow it to heal so it is really unfair of me to expect the test to already turn out positive. I re-scheduled my colon hydrotherapy (colonic) for this Thursday. The practitioner or “therapist” also has Celiacs and has an amazing story on how she has healed herself. She spent 30 minutes with me on the phone explaining the cleansing process and the pressure points she does during the cleanse. She also explained the being healthy isn’t a diet you go on and then are off of after a month, it is a lifestyle change. Not that I already knew that but as soon as she said this, I kind of did a hard gulp. This is a sacrifice and one that not many people in today’s society are willing to make but as the therapist said we are constantly surrounded by poison and it is important to try and keep as much out of our system as possible (I sound crazy don’t I?). I am very excited and nervous to go on Thursday but if I can do this, I figure child birth will be a snap. I know I am not pushing a child out but it is pretty humiliating to electively do this…at least for me. I found this therapist off a website recommended in “Crazy Sexy Cancer.” The website has a lot of helpful and interesting information on the colon and how it affects our overall health. The statement I liked most on the website was “your body has within itself, the power of self-healing.” There is also a paragraph explaining what causes yeast infections “Due to various factors, including antibiotic over-use, lack of dietary fiber and a compromised digestive/elimination system... An overgrowth of yeast and fungus can occur. Left untreated, this condition can worsen and cause a myriad of difficult health problems and disease symptoms.” Hmmm…and this is a common condition for women. Perhaps we should start paying more attention to the signals our bodies are giving us and not just run to the drug store for the quick fix in a box. I am guilty of it too. Whenever I have had a yeast infection I head straight to the nearest drug store and purchase the kit in a box or go to emergency care and get an antibiotic. Never in a million years did I consider the fact that the infection was my body telling me something else was wrong. The website also discusses the need for liver cleanses. “Have you been feeling tired, listless and constantly run-down? Noticed unexplained weight-gains or bloating — even though you haven't really changed your eating habits? Maybe it's time to cleanse your liver! The liver is a crucial organ to purify your blood and for the distribution of vital nutrients. It works to purge toxins from our bodies, but sometimes it may need help regenerating cells and tissues.” …and here I thought my food baby was caused by what I was eating to much?? Here is the website I was cleaning this weekend and came across a book my mom had given me right around the time of my diagnosis “Dangerous Grains.” I haven’t had a chance to ready much but I am dying to dive into one of the chapters I read just a little on. I just happened to flip through it as I was organizing my books and read that “68% of Celiacs patients have tested positive for antibodies that attack their organs and tissues.” Intrigued, I read on….”most of the patients are able to stop the production of more antibodies by taking Gluten out of their diets and their bodies are actually able to heal.” This caused me to take one of my recipe cards and mark the page so that I could return to it when I had some time. I have been thinking about that page ever since and have a date with it this evening as soon as the hubby goes to bed. After reading this page I started thinking…and you know that is dangerous. What if all my fertility problems and others' fertility problems are being caused by eating harmful things? And what if I am going to be able to heal my body and get all systems back up and running? This thought helped me sleep easy last night. After all the colon website said “... You can become well again!But first you must identify the root-cause of your ill-health...”

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Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.