My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

I'll See the Witch Doctor and She'll Tell Me What to Do

It is Monday, boo, and I am sitting at my desk watching the clock for 9:00 AM to hit so I can call and schedule my appointment with the kinesiologist. I understand that my work hours start a wee bit earlier then most people’s so I am trying not to piss off the doc before I even get to see her. To pass the time this morning, I thought I would do a bit of research of kinesiology and fertility. I found a bunch of encouraging case studies and articles. Throughout this whole ordeal, I have read so many stories about people who have had cancer and chemotherapy that were told they wouldn’t have children and they did. I still maintain that if someone who has had chemotherapy and a disease like cancer can have children then so can I. I truly believe that this “witch doctor” could be the missing link. Here is some of the information I found on kinesiology and fertility. “During the 40 odd years between puberty and post-menopause, a woman experiences many life changes and physical body changes. The reproductive system is involved in many of these, often giving rise to symptoms ranging from irregular periods, difficulty conceiving and endometriosis to severe menopausal symptoms, such as hot flushes, mood swings and low self-esteem. Health Kinesiology has helped many people overcome such imbalances. One client's periods had stopped after receiving chemotherapy treatment. She was suffering from hot flushes and was feeling bloated and generally out of kilter. Blood tests confirmed that she was in the early stages of the menopause due to the chemotherapy and she was informed that it was likely that in four years she would be infertile. Reluctantly she followed medical advice and commenced HRT. She visited a Health Kinesiology practitioner on the advice of a friend and went with an open mind. Even during her first session the client began to feel less bloated and her pelvic area began to feel 'normal'. She had 2 further Health Kinesiology sessions, plus she implemented some minor dietary changes and replaced the HRT with a natural herbal remedy. Her periods soon returned and were regular and a further blood test surprised her GP when it showed that her hormone levels were back to normal. By the end of that year she was pregnant and gave birth to a healthy 8lb 2oz baby girl!” This was very encouraging because this woman’s periods had stopped just like mine have stopped. Next I went to “Kinesiology is an energetic model of healing which merges gentle chiropractic muscle monitoring techniques with the principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine, counselling, nutrition and energetic science. Kinesiology uses these techniques to assess stress in the body’s nervous, digestive, muscular, reproductive, endocrine and immune systems and determine the underlying cause of this stress. Kinesiology resolves blockages in the body leading to improvement of one’s wellbeing and vitality. How does it work? Energetic imbalances affect people in different ways, so every kinesiology session is tailored specifically to the individual. It is a personal approach that brings understanding and awareness of the root of your condition and uses gentle corrective techniques to reprogram the body and its response to stress and emotions. This enables the client to overcome obstacles and achieve deep and lasting results. How many sessions will I need? If you have been living with a longstanding condition or series of symptoms then it is likely that it may take some time to work through. It is, however, not uncommon for people to experience immediate changes. In normal clinical situations, an issue can require between two to six sessions for the client to feel the benefits of their treatment.” These two sites convinced me I should go with my gut feeling and make an appointment. Come on 9:00, it’s taking you forever to get here!
I did it! I left the message. Then I had to wait until I received a call back at 6:30 PM. During my waiting time, I went to see Mrs. W and we did a very powerful cleaning complete with the Minun Bed, Ionic Foot bath (where I put the tools over my ovaries) and a colonic. We also talked a bit about my expectations. Mrs. W said she believed that my body would eventually be back to its natural working order but I had over 20 years of eating flour and damaging my body….and that cant be fixed in a year. She said to keep doing the things I have been doing and thinking positively and things were bound to heal completely. I left with what felt like menstrual symptoms and feeling much better about things. I felt even better when the kinesiologist, Ann, called back. She had an opening this Weds. at 2:00 PM. I would have to leave early and cancel my acupuncture appointment, but after our conversation, I was convinced that this was the appointment I had been waiting for a really long time. Ann and I went over what had happened since my diagnosis. My family history and what my every day life looked like. She stated that 80% of the people that come to her, come see her because they have simply tried everything else. She also said that most of their issues stemmed from emotional issues stored deep inside the body and that one of the things she does is to help release those emotions. She said that everything I had been doing seemed to be working but that my body can’t completely restore function because I probably have emotional issues. Weird, another person telling me I have issues. Add it to the list of reasons why I wonder everyday why my husband puts up with me. Seriously, I would run far and fast from any man that had as many issues that I have. Ann said it can take up to three treatments for some people but that some only need one or two. I am excited and feel that this is my missing link.
I have to tell you one of the things that have been causing un-needed stress in my life. A few years ago, I received a letter in the mail from my mortgage company stating that they believed my confidential information had been leaked. Almost immediately, I started receiving letters in the mail thanking me for applying for credit cards to old navy and dell. Loan application responses for mortocycles and cars. Some one had stolen my identity so I had to clean it up. I purchased a great product that forces any company that has received an inquiry or request involving my social security number to call me and verify that I did in fact request the item to be purchased or that I did apply for that credit card. A few weeks after purchasing this product, I received a call from Verizon wireless stating that they had someone on the phone trying to re-activate the phone I had just cancelled and they asked if I would like to speak with them. I glanced over at my husband who by now was wondering who the heck I was talking to and replied “yes, please put them through but please record this for police records”. For the next five minutes I talked to the person who had gotten an id, charged over $5,000 on credit cards and purchased a computer all in my name and social security number. I asked her questions that I thought would prove she wasn’t who she claimed she was and then after about five minutes she got mad and hung up. After that call, there had been no more problems with this person…..until a few days ago. On Monday, I was sitting at my desk working away when I received a call from AT&T stating that they were required to call and verify I had requested a new account and phone. I sighed and stated that “no” I hadn’t requested that and that it was fraud. I then asked what state the request had come from and it was California, just as before. I giggled to myself that I had stopped this annoying woman from doing this to me again. There are all kinds of fraud rings like the one that happened with my mortgage companies. Groups of people pay employees to give them social security numbers and then one person uses them for awhile and then when they are done with them hand them to someone else or they keep them and wait a few years before using them again and just when the victim has taken their guard down….more fraudulent charges come their way. I don’t know how these types of people sleep at night knowing that they are trashing someone elses identity just so they can have material things!! There is a special place in hell for these people I guarantee you that. Anyway, I purposely left the watch on my credit and I am glad I did. Suckers! I recommend that everyone get some kind of credit watch even if you haven’t had any issues. Believe me, it’s worth the $5.00 a month to have piece of mind.

Today is Weds., and I woke up to cramps and another negative pregnancy test. One day I will get a positive result and I will sit there on the toilet in shock. I got to see Ann, the kinesiologist today and I can’t wait!! I have a feeling this is it. My only fear is that I have so many deep rooted emotional issues that she will turn me down from treatment.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so bummed you are having problems getting pregnant but IT WILL HAPPEN! I wanted to leave you a comment a while ago on a post saying you gave up dairy. Are you still dairy free? I swear that crap causes soooo many issues in our bodies. Anyway, just wanted to say hi and I love all the stuff you are doing to make your bod super healthy for that future pregnancy!


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Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.