Sunday, July 31, 2011
A Few Extra Pounds to Carry Around and Our First Dr. Willing to Work with Us
So I think, rather I know I am having one of those “I’m feeling sorry for myself “ days. I have started to notice (and so had my husband) that I seem to be gaining weight at a very abnormal pace and although I could eat a bit healthier on the weekends, this weight gain cannot possibly from what I am eating/drinking. As we talked about it this morning I came to the realization that is most likely hormones…or lack of… in my body. It is very sad. I used to have a great body that worked for me both inside and out and now it seems that it is failing me in every way. I went from being a confident woman to not even wanting to go out in public. I just don’t know how I got here. It seems I either need to stop taking the estrogen and progesterone or start taking more. DHEA is actually given to people to help them loose weight so it can’t be that. I cried on the phone to my husband this morning and told him I am ready to be done with all of this. I want my body back completely hormones and all and if that means going back on birth control or taking more hormones so be it. I will not live this way hating the way I look. I have an appointment with my doctor next Tuesday morning and you better bet I will be asking for some blood tests and some answers. On a more positive note, I had a consultation with one of three doctors that work with high FSHers. This one is located in St. Louis and came very highly recommended off of one of the message boards I have been reading through. He was very friendly and has worked with many women in my position. There was one point in the conversation where he compared my fertility to the ups and downs of the stock market. I thought I might have to hang up but he recovered quickly. He stated that I needed to plan on 3-4 ivf cycles in case the first doesn’t work. Being that the under lying problem with my body right now is that my ovaries don’t respond, he can’t be sure how long or even if we could get them to respond with the treatments. We discussed the hormones I was currently on and he said he thought I just needed to be on higher doses in order to stimulate the follicles that what I was on right now just wasn’t enough to do anything. I would have a period of 10 days where I would need to be in town for each treatment which isn’t a bid deal with my family living there but I don’t know how I would get that much time off of work. The doctor said it could work the first time or it could take a few cycles or it might not work but at least then I would know and be comfortable with using donor eggs. I thanked him for his time and he said he would be sending me some information on some of his patients like me who had success with IVF and said they would be contacting me soon. I am just terrified to try this and don’t think I am ready to spend the big bucks on it quite yet. I still have some time to decide as I am meeting with two doctors here in Colorado before I make any decisions. It is good to know there are doctors out there who are willing to help me…at least with the baby thing. I go to see the hypnotist today which I am really excited about. Not really sure what to expect but I figure if she was interviewed on lifetime and has written a book full of success stories that she has probably worked with people in my situation. We will see. I just pray that I can loose the extra weight I am carrying around, I feel miserable right now.