My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Economically Organic

Today on Economically Organic:
Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

My First Appointment with the Hynotist

The hypnotist was a really great experience. Although I couldn’t tell you much that she said to me during the actual hypnosis, I can tell you I already feel better. It’s like the past has been erased from my brain. I can still remember things if I want but I don’t have this overwhelming sense of sadness anymore. The session started with us reviewing my past anything that had been traumatic/affected me in any certain way. My family, my husbands family, my marriage. Then we discussed my diagnosis and my hopes for the future then she went over facts about hypnosis, why it works and some success stories from her practice. She said that most people were broken by the time they came to see her most having already gone through several failed IVF treatments and having nothing else to try. She also told me about a women who had been in menopause for almost four years who came to see her and said she wanted to have a period. They did a few sessions and the woman had a period. I mean come on if she can, I can. I explained my desire to have my own children and to restore my periods and she said she could help me. Then we went over a method she discusses in her book called the cancellation technique. Basically anytime someone starts saying negative things towards you/your health or anything in your life. You can simply state you are going to cancel them out either in your head or out loud not allowing you to store the unpleasant thoughts and beliefs in your subconscious. You simply choose to not believe or accept what you are hearing. Hypnosis helps us because we as humans tend to hold on to things. She explained that when a cat has a traumatic experience, like encountering a dog in the yard, they get all fired up and hide until the dog leaves then forget about the whole incident and when the dog is gone, lay in the sun just as they were before like nothing happened. We humans are not like that. When we have a traumatic experience, like a car accident, we are immediately on our phones telling our loved ones, then the next day at work we tell our coworkers and emailing friends we haven’t gotten a chance to talk to and then that next weekend we are at dinner and retell the story. Our conscious mind doesn’t know the difference between the incident happening and talking about it.  Every time we even think about the incident, our bodies can think it is reoccurring which can keep us in a constant state of fight or flight which can shut down systems in our bodies and never allow us to rest.  Hypnosis allows you to get into your subconscious and release any of the events that keep reoccurring in our minds, kind of like hitting the reset button. We started out the session with her guiding me through my whole body and relaxing literally every muscle. She lost me about relax your arms and I rejoined the somewhat conscious world and heard “you are a menstruating woman”, fell asleep some more then came to and heard “when you get upset picture yourself having a period or holding your baby” fell asleep again and didn’t wake up again until I heard her counting.  She said that when she told me that when she was talking about me complaining with my friends about cramps I smirked and that other then that it had gone well. I was told I needed to follow up with an appointment within the next two weeks and then we could expand them out to once a month so I made another appointment for August 5th and she gave me a guided relaxation cd to use three times a week and I was on my way. I was kind of in a funk the whole rest of the day and I noticed that throughout the weekend, I didn’t feel sad once and as I sit here at work, I haven’t been tempted to do any medical research at all!!! I am excited to see what the next month brings to see if the reset button worked. I have also decided the in order to keep doing the research I have been sharing with all of you wonderful readers, I am going to start asking for a $1.00 donation. I will use the donations to help fund the research. Hypnosis, chiropractics, acupuncture, herbs, IVF, yoga and any of the new fertility breakthroughs that come about. None of it’s cheap or covered by insurance so I am going to have to ask for an optional donation. It doesn’t mean I don’t love sharing, it just means I need help to fund the research.

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Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.