My Story

Hi there, welcome to my blog. Yes I am a drama queen and yes I have been deemed “infertile” by a few of the medical experts in the great State of Colorado but that hasn’t made me give up my quest to have children quite yet. My husband and I have been on the emotional roller coaster of infertility since March of 2009 when I stopped taking birth control after being on it for ten straight years. I have been keeping a journal since the start of this process and thought I would share it with all of the other incredible women out there who may be going through the same thing or similar thing that I am. At age 28, I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). With no history of fertility problems on either side of my family and normal periods before going on the pill, I was left to accept that I have this condition and that there is no medical explanation for it. Since receiving this diagnosis from a fertility specialist in May 2009, I decided I simply wasn’t going to accept that I wasn’t going to have children with my own eggs. I jumped into the world of Eastern Medicine, worked with an Endocrinologist and even went on a fertility diet trying to get my ovaries to start functioning normally. The conclusion I have come to is this…..having Celiac Disease (Gluten/Flour intolerance) and continuing to eat flour throughout most of my childhood and part of adulthood caused my body to produce anti-bodies that have now started attacking the organs/glands in my body. After a visit to an endocrinologist in December 2009, it was determined that I have ovarian antibodies which are essentially antibodies produced by my body that only attack the endocrine system. No doctor has actually confirmed my self diagnosis that the Gluten Intolerance caused this but Celiac Disease is an auto immune disorder and any auto immune disorder can cause your body to attack itself. I am currently waiting to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what the next steps for me will be. I have read that doctors can try and stimulate the Pituitary Gland to get your Endocrine System running again or that you can be given steroids to help restore ovary function. I am hoping to receive one of these treatments in the near future but only time will tell. In the past 10 months, I have watched many of my close friends become pregnant while I remain a sad statistic. This blog contains my thoughts as I struggle through the process of figuring out what in the world is going on with my body and how I continue to try to stay upbeat and positive about my fertility and enjoy my life. I hope that my blog can help others would love to hear from other women going through the same thing, inspiring stories or anyone who just needs encouragement. I know and understand how difficult every day can be once you have received the POF or infertile diagnosis and want you all to know that I am here for you. Please note that some of you may feel I am sharing to much information (TMI) and for that I am sorry. If you want to read my blog…you get all the details. You never know what will be helpful to someone else right? God bless everyone and I wish you luck on your fertility adventures:0) Remember mind over matter!

My intent is to raise awareness of the issues. Please do not rely on this or any other article when making decisions that will affect you and your health. These are things I have decided to try after much research.
I am sorry I have to even ask, but this research stuff is starting to get expensive. I am just asking for $1.00 donation for posts you feel have helped you. I will use all donations to help fund my research and doctors appointments and of course report back to you. Baby dust to all of you and dont worry we will all find a way to have children.

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Today on Economically Organic:
Save the carrot shaving from your juicer and make carrot cake or carrot muffins yummy! You can also save them to put in a salad.

Infertile – a horrible word used to make women who are already feeling bad about themselves want to jump into a pool of chocolate fudge and eat their sorrows away only to realize that not only can they not get pregnant but now they don’t fit in their clothes. A word so easily tossed around by doctors that they don’t even realize they are saying it and a word that you never under any circumstances should google unless you want your brain to explode.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Entry from May 24th...forgot to post but has

I have always been a true romantic at heart. Don’t let my writing fool you. From my writing, you might think I am a feminist who doesn’t need a man to sweep me off my feet. Well I do need it and deep down I secretly hope that my husband will surprise me and most of the time he does. That is why as I write this I am sitting in an airport. You see I was out of town on business and wasn’t scheduled to leave until tomorrow morning around 10:00 AM. I finished my business early and called the travel agent to see if there was a flight out today. I figured my employer would appreciate me not staying any longer then I needed to and I wanted to surprise my husband. The travel agent said there was a flight out at 6:55 PM. That meant I could be pulling into my driveway around 7:00 PM at home surprising my husband who isn’t expecting me back until tomorrow. I thought I was such a genius! I got to the airport early around 4:30 PM and was happily working away on my laptop until I glanced up at the check in desk and saw the words DELAYED followed by the new departure time of 10:15 PM!!!! Thinking it must have been a mistake, I walked up to talk to the airline employee who confirmed that my flight was indeed delayed 5 hours due to weather in Denver. So here I sit. It is now 6:30 PM. The airport I am in reminds me of the one in the movie “the Langoliers”. It is a small airport and there are not many people in it. One might even think the airport was closed looking outside in. I have been sitting in a row of chairs that each have two plug in stations (one for my cell phone and one for my computer, now is a good time to thank God for reminding to pack my charger in the bag I am carrying on and not with the luggage I checked). My chair is on the end and is right next to one of those gumball machines that when you put the money in the gumball follows the track in a spiral motion from the round top part all the way to the bottom. There have only been about twenty people who have walked by since I sat down two hours ago and would you believe that half of them put a quarter in the gumball machine, watched it roll to the bottom, commented on the color they got, giggled and walked away. If you were thinking that most of them have been children ….you are wrong! Not a single one of them was below the age of 18. I am amazed that so many people want to waste a quarter to get a gumball that will only have flavor for maybe 5 minutes. Is it really necessary to watch and move your head with the movement of the gumball? I never knew the gumball dispensers were so popular. Perhaps I should invest in some and put them in my office at work?? I am sitting here wishing I had just stuck to my original plan and flown home tomorrow morning and hating on the gumball people. Am I the only one who thinks a huge gumball for twenty five cents is a waste of money? Granted it is only twenty five cents but three more quarters and you have a taco or some other item off a value menu at a fast food restaurant. On to news….I have weird cramping in my lower abdomen and am wondering if it is the gross airport salad I ate or something else. I pray it is something else. I know I will be pregnant soon, things just keep improving. How could they not continue until my fertility is completely restored? Our bodies are capable of healing, after all Kris from “crazy sexy cancer” healed her stage 4 cancer….if she can do that, I can get my ovaries to work again. I really think that this was all from taking birth control for 10 years. 10 years of synthetic hormones, suppressing my natural bodily functions was bound to cause some damage. I am sitting here feeling lucky that I did not get any worse side effects such as a heart attack or blood clots. All this time I thought the activists speaking against birth control were bible thumpers who didn’t want to support sex before marriage never in a million years did I consider the fact that they might be concerned with people’s health being compromised. How did I not consider that? I feel so stupid! And I feel a bit mislead. How could doctors across the United States continue to prescribe birth control to their patients knowing the possible danger? A woman my mom works with is 30 years old and recently was in the hospital with gall bladder issues. As they were releasing her, one of the nurses noticed that she had written down she was taking Yasmin. The nurse suggested my mom’s friend speak with her OBGYN about switching since Yasmin is known to cause problems with the gall bladder. My mom’s friend made an appointment and was told by her doctor that it was fine and the pill had not caused it… she continues to take the prescription. If it were me, I would have thrown the prescription away the minute I got home from the hospital. My research and experience makes me want to stand in front of high school assemblies to lecture young women on birth control and how not wonderful it is. I have to do something about this!

I have made it home and am sitting at work functioning pretty well on my four hours of sleep. I have cramps today and have very thick, half clear CM that is kind of clumpy. Still waiting for the stretchy transparent stuff to appear. While we are on the CM subject…..for those of you who don’t seem to have much CM when you wipe, I read that you should check up by the opening to the cervix to get the best sample. You can do this by sticking your “clean” finger up. Don’t worry it’s not that far and believe me it could be much different up there then what is showing up when you use the rest room. I found that to be true this morning so suck it up and do it. While sitting in my hotel room a few nights ago, I read a book called “the raw food detox diet”. In the book, the author explains the reasons why people are so afraid to give up their current comfort foods and replace them with more nutritional ones. She also explains how the human body isn’t made to break down processed foods and that is why it is so important to eat mostly natural products such as fruit and vegetables. The author rates people’s diet and lifestyle into 5 stages with stage 1 being the most healthy. I am currently a stage 3 and plan on staying at this stage for awhile since I enjoy cooked food for dinner and don’t eat all my meals raw. There are recipes provided for all of the different stages which I plan on attempting with suggestions on what to do when you eat out and travel. One of my favorite recipes in one for a drink the author suggests you drink some kind of version of at least once a day in the morning on an empty stomach. The drink/juice is loaded with all kinds of veggies but also includes a lemon (to get rid of the green taste). I tried adding half a lemon to my juice this morning and it worked! The author is a genius! I will be adding lemons every morning. One of the other things I am incorporating to my diet is to only eat raw fruit and vegetables in the morning (whole or juice form), a green salad (raw) for lunch and dinner with cooked vegetables (can include organic fish or chicken). Not to discuss elimination again but if you only give your body raw fruit and veggies in the morning, you give it a chance to eliminate the waste from the previous day before you start loading your system up with the new day’s food. The author also discusses colon cleansing and how good it is for you, especially for people who are new to eating clean and organic. If you don’t clean your pipes, the new diet will start detoxifying your body and that toxicity (waste) will not be able to leave the body because older waster will block it. The result is what happened to me…..stomach aches and gas and no one wants that. Basically I think that author of “the raw food diet) is amazing and I am so excited to try the recipes.

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Reading Materials/Other Items That Have Helped Me

  • Inconceivable
  • Making Babies by Sami S. David, MD & Jill Blakeway, LAc
  • pre-seed Fertility-friendly Intimate Moisturizer
  • restoring fertility - yoga for optimal fertility dvd - you can feel it working!
  • Taking Charge for Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH
  • The Infertility Cure by Randin Lewis, Ph. D.