Relax....and take a deep breath

So much to share today. Last week I continued to have cramps up until about Saturday. Well I thought they were cramps but maybe they weren’t?? Seems that only felt a pain/cramp from my left ovary from Weds-Saturday. On Thursday during an appointment with Mrs. W, she had me take part of the ionic footbath and set them on top of my skin where I imagined my ovaries were. Then she explained that I needed to control the switch that controlled the footbath and the separate pieces over my ovaries. Basically I was to move it up until I felt twitching or tingling and that meant I had come across an area that needed some work. The results of my footbath were that I had a lot of metal (black) and mucus and I even had some color come out of my skin where I was holding the other two tools kind of a brown light brown color?? Mrs. W said that was very strange….is that good you think? I have never been what you call normal so I am going to go with strange is good. After this appointment, my left ovary was on fire. It literally felt like it was pulsating. On my way home, I recalled a chapter in a healing book I had recently read about a woman who was involved in a bad car accident and was thrown from her car. As she arrived at the hospital and they ran tests, she was told that she had a lot of internal injuries. One of her lungs was collapsed and her spleen was ruptured. The doctors wanted to remove her spleen but couldn’t operate until she stabilized. Feeling helpless laying there waiting to see if she did in fact stabilize, the woman decided she was going to do everything she could at that moment to help herself. Being that she was not able to get up from the hospital bed, she began trying to take deep, deep breaths. At first it really burned and she couldn’t take very deep ones, but as she worked at it she found that she was able to breathe more deeply with every hour she worked at it until she was taking complete breaths. The next day the doctors came in to check her vitals, did some x-rays and found that her lung had repaired itself and that the lesion on her spleen was also better. She had healed herself by taking really deep breaths and relaxing herself. I know what you are thinking, “yeah right”. The doctors involved confirmed this happening and if you search “the healing power of deep breathing”, you will be amazed. How can something that should be so obvious for us to do on a daily basis be missed by so many? I used to think I breathed the correct way but in order to take one full, deep breath, your lower abdomen should come out and your lungs should almost burn. As you take the deep breathe you will notice that your mind is clear because you are focusing on taking the breath. This is why the experts say deep breathing is so healing, as you focus on taking the breaths, you stop stressing and your mind is at ease. Your body takes in all of the oxygen, relaxes and you feel more at ease. Try it the next time you are sitting in traffic or having trouble falling asleep at night. It has helped me fall asleep a few times since I have incorporated into my getting ready for bed routine which was already quite lengthy but breathing my 10 breaths takes less then 3 minutes. As I stated previously, I am taking the time each morning before I get out of bed to take 10 deep breaths and then doing 10 more before I fall asleep. The point of this story is that I believe that what I was feeling last week wasn’t a period, it was my ovary healing. My left ovary has never been able to be viewed on any of my ultrasounds. The fertility specialist said it was probably because it was either to small with no follicles or because it had collapsed. My new OBGYN, Dr. S, said it is because it hides behind my bowels. I think Dr. S is probably the closest to the real reason mainly because the fertility specialist also told me my right ovary was collapsed with no standing follicles which we all know is not true. I think what I felt last week was my left ovary healing. I talked it over with Mrs. W and she believes that as well. She said we shouldn’t feel any of our internal organs from the outside unless something is going on good or bad and given all of the positive changes I have seen lately, she believed the pain was good. She said it seems like my body is really cleansing and healing quickly and that it seems ready to be healthy again. On Saturday, during a trip to the bathroom, I noticed some strange CM that resembled a thin piece of paper followed by some clear stretchy CM. The thin paper like CM was in a round shape and the size of a pencil top eraser. Alarmed I called my husband which I am not sure why I did that because he had no idea what to say and then all I did was worry him. He then wanted me to take another HPT but I told him that two in one week was enough and that those things aren’t cheap. If it were up to him, I would take one every morning. The strange CM was gone after Saturday and so was the pain on my left ovary. “Things” have been dry since Saturday and I am anxious to see what changes happen the next two weeks. I have marked in my calendar when I think I could have ovulated last month and am hoping it happens again this month. Speaking of ovulation, my husband and I have decided to cancel our appointment with the fertility specialist in August and make an appointment with a new fertility clinic called Conceptions. My mother had read about this clinic in a local magazine and saw them on the news and one of my followers on this blog also recommended them. We decided that the other clinic had bad karma and didn’t think that we couldn’t go in with a positive attitude even with all the positive changes after how mean the ultrasound tech was to us that horrible day in April 2009. Conceptions will give us a new start, new positive karma and a better chance at successful IVF. It is a good decision for us and Conceptions has a pretty good success rate so I don’t feel like I am losing anything by making the switch except for the bad karma which I will gladly leave behind. I hope that Conceptions will make us feel welcome and maintain a positive attitude throughout our IVF process (should we have to do that).